Today

I'm totally not myself today, can't even get a hold of myself.

Can't even concentrate at work, keep making mistake or forgetting things I've been doing everyday.

I never knew this would pose a huge impact on me.
Sometimes I even asked myself, why care if he doesn't care at all? Why makes myself suffer so much? The only answer that I can think of is just a simple I. don't. know.

I've been thinking hard and lots today but I don't know what I'm thinking.
It's just like my soul is not with me and get moody or mad very fast.
I lost count on the number of sigh I made today, but it's definitely better than yesterday night.

And, I'm sorry to my girls. They're worried about me.
I can see Jay's effort trying to make me smile.
Glen.. He said he's willing to be my listening ear, but people who knows me will know I don't tell my problems to everyone, only to the one I'm feeling comfortable with.
Anyway, thanks a lot guys.

Don't worry, I won't quit just because he left.
Who knows he might come back one day. *I'm making false hope again? but this is what I'm really hoping for.*
If I do quit, then everyone's effort in helping me will be wasted, so I won't.
All I want is just a rest, to clear my mind and adapting to new situation WITHOUT his presence.
Now I'm saying he's dead *touch wood*.
He's still surviving, very good I suppose.

The reason I got upset is not because he quit the game and I can't see him FOREVER, even though I haven't met him before.
That's somehow too dramatic if I cry all day and night.
The reason why I can't get over it is because we hardly talk now, and FW is somehow the way I can.

We can chat on Skype, but I wouldn't like to disturb people if they're busy. This will then slowly makes our conversation gets dull, and at last just a 'hi' and 'bye'.
It'll be totally awful but I'm not a person who's good at making the first step.

Anyway.. I just hope things can get better.