Dear blog,

Okay!!! Test 6 is finally over. I soo in love with this now. Chemistry had been bothering me for so long and now it's over =)

AS results is coming out... Everyone said that they will not score well for their test. The only think that I wish to say is, I'll see about it lol. I try not to think all the bad stuffs for it. This will definitely going to make me go crazier.

I think it's time to pay more attention in my works. A pile of homeworks are waiting for me, pure maths, applied maths etc. I believe I won't have the time to complete it once I got the past year papers. Who will bother about those tutorials?? Everyone will be doing past years only. However, my basic is totally sucks so I think I got to get down to business.

Less time online gaming
Less time playing facebook
NO MORE the SIMS!!!! (sob)
p/s: I deleted it because I screwed up the whole folder lol

Dear blog,

I can't believe myself for getting mad at someone for no valid reason.
It's actually I'm the one who's in guilt yet I blame it on someone.
This is all because I can't get what I desire, what I want and what I'm desperate for.

I expect people to spoonfeed me, even without trying to do.
I expect people to pity me, and throw my tamtrum if I don't get it.

I'm deperate and stress out now.
This test really going to kill me, not to say A2
People said is just a small test, but I always take it seriously.
I told my mom that it's just a small test and bo big deal, but she said still insists me to do well.

I thought I'm able to score for my Applied Maths today but I was wrong.
I now realise that I shouldn't have get mad at him, it's not his fault after all.
I really desperate in my marks now that I could do something so silly and naive.

What's wrong with me??
I have no idea.

Why would you always like to put the blame on me??
Do you think I would want the accident to happen?
If what had happen then let it be, no point looking back.

Why would you always say I'm the cause of everything?
Why can't you just say some supportive words?
What happened to me is indirectly related to you, do you know that?
I bet you don't know, because you wouldn't bother anything that happen.

Just stop putting blames on me.
I also want to go out and go home safely.
Stop saying I'm troublesome.
You always have the responsibility to look after me.

After all, you're my brother.

Dear blog,

    Today wasn’t a good day for me. I had an accident this morning on the way to pick Shaun and the others. Everything just happened in a split of seconds.

    I was heading towards Shaun’s house, by using the market route. When I reached a T-juntion, a red colour Kenari came out suddenly. I wasn’t able to dodge in time, so my cas was hit on the side door.

    I stopped the car, open the say and said, ‘Walau auntie, how did you drive?’ The auntie just said, ‘I saw no car coming’. I was stunned but never mind. I called my mom and the only thing I heard from her is aiyooo. I can’t get to Shaun at that moment. I came out from my car, locked it and walked towards the auntie. I was kind that time and asked, ‘Auntie, are you OK?’ She replied, I’m fine but the car is not fine.’ She shows me the damaged she got. Her car’s bumper dropped and she said mine was not as terrible as hers (I do not know that).

    I told her that my parents were on the way and asked her to discuss with them. She said she’s in rush and I tell her I also in rush to college. She asked me where I study and tell me where she lives, but not precise enough. So she asked me to give her my phone number and I gave. She told me that she will called me and I said OK.

    She then drove off and my parents came. The first thing they asked me is that where’s that person and I said just left. This make them so pissed off especially my mom. Scolding and yelling at me in front of the public for not getting her number and let her go. Then, I entered my car and my dad asked me for her car plate number. At the mean time my mom continue scolding me for being stupid, get bullied and cheated by people. I only replied her at a high tone saying, Ya la! She paused for a while and said, Why did you shout at me? I replied her, Can you stop saying all these? Can’t you understand my feelings with the situation I’m facing now?? She kept silence. My voice were trembling that time, I knew I was going to cry.

    After giving my dad the infos, he asked me to go to college first. I broke down in the car, thinking that why would mom wanted to treat me like that. I’m already in a bad condition. Everything she said only increase my pain. I know she’s worried about me, but can’t she put it in proper words? such as, what happened? are you ok? if you didn’t get the phone number then never mind, we’ll figure out other way. Are all these so hard to say?? I’m impressed with myself that I still able to concern about the auntie when she knocked me. I understand the feelings after an accident. You may be physically fine, but may not me mentally fine.

    However, Shaun drove to college today because the door couldn’t close tightly. I seriously cried the whole journey to college and even during Maths lecture. It’s just so hurt when I thought what mom said to me. But I managed to recover a bit after everything. Thanks a lot to my friends who give me advices and comfort me. That’s why I somehow feel that I can’t live without friends. People usually say can’t live without their bf or gf, but to me are friends.

    So, I don’t know what will happen next. I don’t know whether will that auntie call me, but i truly hope and wish that she will call. I really do not want to make a police report. I don’t know what’s the consequences, but I don’t wish to trouble auntie. So hopefully we can settle ourselves without the aid of the third party.

 

God, please help me this time, despite every bad karma that I have done.

Dear blog,

I just watched Eclipse with Jean Sean today after class. Luckily there's meeting for lecturers, so we rush to Wangsa Walk to watch the 12.10pm show. There's actually 2 choices of show that we want - Eclipse or Despicable me. But we chose Eclipse at last.

The story is far more better than New Moon. I yawned when I watch New Moon, but this was ok. However, there's too many kissing parts lol.

Jacob and Edward. It's always the old triangle thingy where 2 guys like the same girls. Jean Sean asked me a question during the show. Who would I choose if it's me, Jacob or Edward. I asked her to answer me first and she say she would not choose both. Looks like I'm the stupid one that go and think about the option xD.

Hmm.. If I were Bella, it's really not easy to choose one, because both of them are so protective, caring, kind and of course strong. But I think I will go for the vampire. I don't know what explanation I could give, it's just the first option that crosses my mind. Maybe it's because vampires are calm, except when they're flooded with blood. Wolves are a bit hot tempered. You can see why Jacob get angry so easily with Bella and many other reasons too. So because of that, i'll go for vampire team =)

Dear blog,

I got my MUET results today MORNING 2.18am, where I sent the SMS at 11.27pm. Can anyone ever imagine what feeling I had while waiting for the reply and at the same time sms-ing other friends. Every time when my phone beep, my heart stop beating for a second. You wouldn't never dare to look at the sender =D

So this morning, got up and saw they reply. It's weird that I'm not nervous as last night. I open the message. My IC number pass my eyes, and then my candidate number, lastly the word 'band'. I dare not scroll down but when I saw the top part of the number, I thought it was 2. I immediately scroll it down and I saw the number 3. Speechless for 3 seconds and I'm back.

Wow.... Band 3.. What would I going to tell my parents my result?? I'm surely they will be disappointed with it. Plus, it's unbelievable for me to get this result. I was relieved that it's not 2 but I'm still a bit sad and the next second, I didn't bother it anymore. I think I would if it's for IELTS.

It's indeed heartache where you're a person who speaks English at home since small and this is the results that you get. I know my mistakes during the test. So what I can say is, just leave this aside as there's more important things for me to worry of - A2. I can retake MUET anytime I want but not for A2.

So.... I think I will take IELTS first and then MUET again lol. I don't think I dare to screw my paper again for the next time, it's not fun at all =( and not to underestimate again.

Dear blog,

=D
Tarc is having a Science exhibition today
Everyone starts visiting the exhibition because of bouncing ball
We get to make one for ourselves with all those chemicals.
I got one but it's a failure, because the SMS member made it for me =(

I only got to make my own one after all my class end, which is 2pm.
Only few of us went back there as other friends went to sing K, and some straight back to home.
So, left me, Kenny, Jean Sean, Kar Yan and two more A class students.

When I enter the exhibition, I saw them standing at one of the 'booth'.
It's teaching us Sex Education.
I didn't notice it at first.
The only thing I notice is a small square plastic thingy.
The first question that pop out of my mind is what is that.
It's an expected expression that all of them were surprise that I didn't what that thing is.
So I thought for a while and make my guess.
I think it's a CONDOM, and I'm right =D

For life, I swear that's my first time looking at it.
Then, one of the SMS member open it and demo to us.
Another first question pop out into my mind - it looks like pacifier =)
The answer I got from Kenny is, eww... you're disgusting =)
Come on, it really looks like that weh...
Then, the SMS member place it on top on the measuring cylinder, look at me and tell me how I should wear this..
I immediately respond to him that, why should I learn. Kenny is the one who should learn (i point at him)
The SMS member said that I will have a husband later and have to wear for him???
SWT!!!!!
Please la.... I don't think I'll do that lol
After that I kept quiet and just observe.
I dare not touch it, seriously.
I feel that it's a good thing that I just see it =D

Then, Jean Sean open another packet that has coconut flavour.
I hate the smell.
Then, I saw on the board there written something.
Why do condoms have flavour??
Hmm.... I don't know this..
Then Kar Yan tell me is for oral sex???
I asked again, oral sex so????
Hahahaha...
I feel that I've been asking a lot of weird question today =)
Never mind, it's a good achievement today =)

AND...
I made my own purple bouncing ball =)
Now I have to reshape it into a ball =)

At the same time
I would like to say...
I'll miss you Jasmine =)