I HATE YOU!!
Why you always like to ruin my day??
Stupid headache ==""

Can't barely wake up due to the massive head pain.
Not enough sleep I guess since I had a epic and crazy outing yesterday. Don't worry I don't take liquor ><

Trying to get some sleep after dinner but failed.
Took panadol and try to sleep but still can't.
Keep thinking of rubbish stuff ==""
Worry about something else too

Wish to say, please be home safely all time.....

Need to print and read the notes.
Looks like headache slowly goes off by itself.

Fireworks!!!!! Nice!!!!
I can feel my headache went off entirely the moment I see the night sky.
It's pretty~ Superb..
Too bad there's no stars, if not it will be perfect!
Stars + fireworks! How nice is that =)

Anyway, gotta sleep!
Nightssss

What do you do when somehow inside of you,

You know that you are loving the wrong person 

but your love is so strong that you can't let go 

and you prefer accepting life as it comes.

After all we are only here for a while..

The real life starts when we are no longer in this world.

People we meet or we stay with will soon leave you.

The real life is the life after

Found something cool from Faebook. It's a quiz actually. I thought it's not accurate at first, who knows after I took the test, it turns out to be so TRUEEEE!!!!!!

Why am I the melancholic type?? TT
I couldn't comment much but it really describes me well if you know me well =)

I smiled widely when I remember how we met and get to know each other.
That moment is just so beautiful.

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Now only got the chance to go online.
Keep visiting relatives in Malacca. Then straight sleep after I got home.

Hmm.. This year is quite special though. THE WEATHER IS NOT HOT!! But it keeps raining ==.
So inconvenient in walking from houses to houses.
Mom said when there's rain during Winter Solstice, then the weather won't hot during CNY. Hmm.. I wonder how true is this. Since I'm in Malacca now, I don't know the weather in KL.
But!! I don't want a raining CNY.
Too muddy which makes the car even dirty ==

Anyway, Happy CNY again and Happy Birthday to my dearest baby, Tan Ai Ling =)

After a long conversation with him, around 3 and a half hours, we somehow manage to sort things out again.
I hope this time will be the last time we ever discuss such issue again.
I'm glad that both of us came out with the same opinion where the both of us agree to it. Well I think the main problem is me who normally finds it hard to accept some facts.
So, this time I hope it'll be the last time..

Enough of arguing.
Enough of avoiding and ignoring each other.
Let's just make all these to an end.
However, apart from everything we've been through together and conflicts of opinion, as well as forgiving each other all time, we get to know each other better than before.
I think this is so far the most important thing to me right now.
I will try not to ask for more anymore.

I like the way we are right now.
No more avoiding, awkwardness, ignoring etc.
Let's hope for the best for us =)

This is the best I can do....

Paid a visit to ‘psychiatrist’ today after realizing I’m unable to control my emotion anymore.

Got my ‘medicine’ and was referred to a ‘psychologist’.

Now I need to go back to see that ‘psychologist’ once a week and take that ‘medicine’ once daily until finish. I was given a book and asked to write my day. The book will be referred and check on my progress.

So hard that I’m on medication now but after taking it, I’m able to calm down. Head not that pain anymore, my sense is coming back to me slowly.

That doc said I can only recover fast if things were back to normal. I think he meant normal as in back to what we used to be. The way he treat me and the way I treat him. No more ignore, no more avoiding. Face the facts and be friends. Hmm.. I hope doc can know that, this is not exactly what I want. I know how will I feel and react. I have no choice since the other party want to be like this which makes thing gets more complicated.

If I were given another chance…..
If I was really given another again……..
I would want to tell him…
Don’t ignore me, I promise anything that you want. I promise I’ll respect your decision, just not ignore.
I can’t accept anymore ignorance.
Even though I have friends around me, but I’m really lonely.
I can’t stand someone used to be so close to me start to ignore me.
I will exchange my feelings for friendship. 

God gives you answers in three ways: 

He says yes and gives you want you want, 

He says no and gives you something better, 

or He says wait and gives you the best.

When someone has hurt you and you forgive them and they repeat their actions over sometimes that person may need more than forgiveness.

God will never leave you empty. If something is taken away, He will replace it with something better. If He denies your request in a certain area, it is because He wishes to give you what is best. If He asks you to put something down, it is so you can pick up something greater.

Let's just hope this is true.

To anyone who love to ignore and avoid.

Ignoring or avoiding is just running away from the fact.
This just means that you're not able to hold on to yourself firmly.
You choose to run away because you don't want to face the truth or reality.

Ignoring a person who likes you put an impact on that person.
There's always pros and cons for it.
However, not everyone thinks the same thing as you do.
You may think it's fine with you but doesn't mean it's fine for the other party.

If you ignore, definitely that person will get hurt.
AND THIS HURT LIKE SHIT!
The feeling is just like sprinkle salts on an unhealed wound.
You never know how hard it is for that person to move on.
You may say this is temporary, but what will happened to that person, you'll never know.
What will that person thinks, you'll never know either.
If you see that person get back their smile, don't be too relieved.
That person may be strong from the outside, but you'll never know that they shed tears in the middle of the night to put themselves to sleep.
You think the way you act is actually helping them but in fact you're torturing them more.
If you choose to ignore that person, be sure that you are ready to lose a friendship.
Are you willing to sacrifice your friendship with that person?

If you know the answer, but you choose not to ignore, things will definitely turn out the other way.
That person will of course continue liking you.
Be patient with that person.
Treat that person like you always do.
Such person actually just need time to overcome it.
Explain to that person nicely why things can't turn out to be what they wanted but don't confuse them.
Make them understands and slowly, with time they will somehow adapt to it.
It may take days or weeks or months or even years, but for sure they will adapt to it someday.
At least at the end, you got to get to know that person very well and they'll be the best person to know you well.

No one can force you which route to choose.
It all depends on you.
It's either you want to make it the fast and hard way or slow and soft way.
You need to bare the consequences since you're the cause of it.
Don't feel disgust when you are loved by someone you don't wish to because, this is a sign that you're worth loving for.
Appreciate their feelings and thanks them for it.

Happy birthday to you!! =))

It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. 

You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life'd be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. 

But you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. 

Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days, 

but as long as you let the past go, 

you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. 

Knowing that things were meant to happen. 

Knowing that each day you will learn something so that 

you keep growing to be a better person. 

Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. 

So grab hold of it.

Hmm.. I was suppose to do something today - giving a surprise.

Didn't expect things to turn out to not what I want.

Since it's over and I can't go back to time, I'll just have to leave this surprise in my heart.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try you're still unable to achieve it.
That is when you wish how nice if you're this and that person.

Went to Sunway Pyramid with Lourene and Esthy today.

First time doing menicure LOL

Ok.. I'm really not used seeing coloursss only my fingernails ><
They told me to try for first time so I just went for it =)
Not bad but still the colour....... hahahaaa
Maybe I just need time to adapt =)

Please help me make through tomorrow ><

I don't want to feel sad

Thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

=D

Nicole!! It's alright! It's just a dream, I said to myself.

Yea.. A dream that actually wake me in the middle of the night, how does that feels?

Don't feel well yesterday. A sudden low blood glucose level, makes me felt so dizzy that I can't even walk straightly. I need to hold anything that I can hold to keep me stand up and walk 'drunkly' to my room and just fall hard onto my bed. Having headache at that time and dizziness really make me going to puke at anytime. I wonder if I'm extremely exhausted or skipping my dinner that cause these.

Woke up at night, not knowing what time, feeling heartache. It was the dream that I dreamt. My head was still heavy, looks like the headache haven't disappear. I remember I did not take any Panadol before sleeping as I'm afraid I'll get gastric since I skipped my dinner. Tell myself not to cry anymore and convinced  myself that it was just a dream. Be tough and try to get back to sleep.

Can't even get up this morning due to this dizziness. So I just lay on the bed a little longer and fall asleep again. Looks like I really have worn out myself. 10.30am, it's time to get up. First step down from my bed, I   can barely stand still. I'm still feeling dizzy but it was not as bad as yesterday.

A quick wash up and immediately head towards the kitchen and start looking for sugary foods. I'm just scared I can't make throughout the day. Not working. I'm still feeling dizzy. After an hour, still dizzy and even now, but I can feel that it's getting lesser. Quite worried right now that I'm not able to go uni tomorrow if I'm still dizzy. Not planning to tell my parents because I know what will the answer going to be. It won't be pleasant so I just keep to myself.

Trying not to think so much for tomorrow. I hope I can be myself, who I used to be. I know there's a huge scar in me right now and this time round, I'm not sure how long will it takes to heal. Maybe months maybe years, but I KNOW there's no turning back right now.

My greatest wish for now is, I hope he won't be sad and feel bad. Despite him telling me he's fine, he's ok, he's not sad or whatever, I can see that he's not being OK! I won't be able to make through these if he's acting like that. I rather people to be honest with me instead of hiding from me just because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I don't blame people who have hurt me before but I thanks them for giving me a new experience.

It doesn’t matter anymore. 

Things happen for a reason. 

Tears eventually fade, and one day everything will be 

exactly how it’s supposed to be. 

Moving on is a process, 

and you have to promise yourself that you’re really ready to let go.

Learnt 2 things today....

First...
You can never force a person to stay if they don't want to, because even if they stay, it still means nothing to you. All you have to do is to be brave and ready to let things go. You don't need a relationship to be happy. No matter where you go, just take note that, there's once a person who actually make you feel happy and teach you how to love someone. They leave not because you guys are not match, is just that their part in your story is over. Thanks them for being a wonderful 'teacher' to you.

Second....
A true friend's touch and concern is so great that it can eventually heal any of your wounds. When you met someone like that, appreciate and be thankful to God that he give you such a wonderful guardian angel. I would like to further my gratitude to Lourene for being there for me and teach me to be tough, even though there's also other friends who are here all the time to care for me. Thanks!

Spent too much lately~~~~ T.T

Went out with Lourene, Esthy and Beatrice today. Too bad Bob Bob can't go =(

Finally got the chance to go to Street Cafe to eat which Lourene have been talking for so long.

The food is not bad, quite nice! I like the environment =)) 

Notes other cutstomer wrote and paste on the wall

We sit inside one of this ><

I couldn't believe after so long, I've finally gather all my courage to talk to him and confess, despite knowing the consequences that I will be facing.

Honestly, thanks sooo much for willing to listen and share your thoughts. This really have been a great time, LOL!!

Sorry but I really don't know how to describe my feelings in words. It's just that everything is finally over now.

Just thankssssssss so much if you're reading....... =)

Strictly speaking, I don't wish to play tag with you.

I don't know what should I do when I keep looking at you behaving like that. It's not fun at all. I just hope I'm thinking too much right now.

If that is what you want, then please let me do at least one last thing for you.

It doesn't matter

 If he didn't appreciate what you've did for him.

It doesn't matter
If what you did is not good enough for him.

It doesn't matter

If you only stay in a corner of his heart.

The most important thing is that

You've done your best for him to

make his day

make him smile

and

make his life full of surprises.

Sandy said something interesting today.

First outing in first semester, we  went to Sunway Pyramid for ice skating.

First outing in second semester, we went for a movie in One Utama.

I'm so excited today that a bunch of us went out for a movie - The Darkest Hour.

Not a bad movie, but I dislike the story line because besically it's just about how to survive in that alien's invasion. It's extremely nervous as you see everyone in the city or world died one by one, as well as the main characters.

Honestly, I'm lucky to have a bunch of cute classmates who actually scream in the cinema. I do not know what other people feel about it but I know it would be pretty bad >< Sorry to those sitting behind and in front of us for being so noisy.

It's really a great time hanging out together after 2 weeks break + reports. Now I guess everyone need to rush their 1000 words report again which we need to submit it on Monday. Sigh.. Wish me luck in completing it =)

I want to be better but I don't know how.

Just hoping one day he can sees it.

Happy New Year everyone!!

May this 2012 brings us luck and happiness as well as health..

Now we're visiting another new year. Every yearly events start all over again, soon I'll be celebrating CNY. However, there're also new events that appear in your 2012 calendar right? So let's just appreciate this special moments as it will only happens once in a lifetime =)

New year new revolution huh, everyone seems to say this.. What will mine be this time.

Hm..... How about this???

• Pass in all exams with excellent results so I can make my way to be a Pharmacist
• Friends and family, stay healthy all time
• I'm able to manage my time wisely
• My plans will work out ><
• living fit?

I think that's all =DD. I've nothing much for this year since it's better to GO WITH THE FLOW, but of course when there's a need to fight for it, I will =))

Anyway, Happy New Year again!!

For all the times i had to go through the pain of losing someone i love.

For all the beautiful moments i cherished with my FAMILY, my LOVE and FRIENDS..

For new friendship,new perspectives,new horizon.

For the worse and painful feeling of loneliness..

For the amazing feeling of loving and being loved.

For all the new changes you brought in me.

For all the times i cried and became stronger.

For the feeling of being rejected and taken for granted..

For all the beautiful momeny spent with HIM.

For the fact that he knew what he was doing to me but yet didnt wanna do anything about it.

For all the times i had to stop caring about myself and my feelings just to make sure he is happy.

For all the times i missed my loved ones who are far away from me.

THANK YOU 2011 for giving me a new meaning of life and for making me explore my inner strength and beauty..

you are certainly one of the years am not gonna forget..

NOW LETS JUST WAIT AND HOPE FOR A BRIGHT AND PEACEFUL AND 

HAPPY 2012 :)