Dear blog,

Many things happen recently. I wanted to write something on blogspot, but I don't know why my dad's lap top is unable to load the page. This really frustrated me . So, I decide to use my dad's netbook.

30/7/2010 (Friday)

Chui Yee told me a shocking news when we were in canteen. She showed me her SMS she received from Shin Cher.

Today will be my last day coming to college. I will drop A level next week.

I'm not sure about the exact message but this is what the message mean. It was so shocking that I thought she's joking, but the message don't sound funny .
When everyone knew about this, they're certainly shocked.
Anyway Shin Cher, we will miss you~~!! Looks like she has joined the Russian's gang


2/8/2010 (Monday)

It's finally in the month pf August. Time flies really fast. This means that I'll be.....

getting my AS results in approximately a week time
sitting for my trial in 2 months time
sitting for my A2 in 2 1/2 months time
lastly...
graduating from TARC

Anyway, I got back my Applied Maths today. I can say that it's a total disaster. I can't believe I failed my Applied Maths, 9/29 = 15.5/50. What kind of result is this I thought. It's not that I didn't study, I don't understand the question. Maybe this is just an excuse, every well then, I shall say I didn't do my tutorial and thus not enough practice . So I think I really have to push myself if not .

I BELIEVE PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT !

I think that's all I want to say. So good luck to me in my AS results which will be release in the net on 12/8/2010 (Thursday)

We must be

Dear blog,

Okay!!! Test 6 is finally over. I soo in love with this now. Chemistry had been bothering me for so long and now it's over =)

AS results is coming out... Everyone said that they will not score well for their test. The only think that I wish to say is, I'll see about it lol. I try not to think all the bad stuffs for it. This will definitely going to make me go crazier.

I think it's time to pay more attention in my works. A pile of homeworks are waiting for me, pure maths, applied maths etc. I believe I won't have the time to complete it once I got the past year papers. Who will bother about those tutorials?? Everyone will be doing past years only. However, my basic is totally sucks so I think I got to get down to business.

Less time online gaming
Less time playing facebook
NO MORE the SIMS!!!! (sob)
p/s: I deleted it because I screwed up the whole folder lol

Dear blog,

I can't believe myself for getting mad at someone for no valid reason.
It's actually I'm the one who's in guilt yet I blame it on someone.
This is all because I can't get what I desire, what I want and what I'm desperate for.

I expect people to spoonfeed me, even without trying to do.
I expect people to pity me, and throw my tamtrum if I don't get it.

I'm deperate and stress out now.
This test really going to kill me, not to say A2
People said is just a small test, but I always take it seriously.
I told my mom that it's just a small test and bo big deal, but she said still insists me to do well.

I thought I'm able to score for my Applied Maths today but I was wrong.
I now realise that I shouldn't have get mad at him, it's not his fault after all.
I really desperate in my marks now that I could do something so silly and naive.

What's wrong with me??
I have no idea.

Why would you always like to put the blame on me??
Do you think I would want the accident to happen?
If what had happen then let it be, no point looking back.

Why would you always say I'm the cause of everything?
Why can't you just say some supportive words?
What happened to me is indirectly related to you, do you know that?
I bet you don't know, because you wouldn't bother anything that happen.

Just stop putting blames on me.
I also want to go out and go home safely.
Stop saying I'm troublesome.
You always have the responsibility to look after me.

After all, you're my brother.

Dear blog,

    Today wasn’t a good day for me. I had an accident this morning on the way to pick Shaun and the others. Everything just happened in a split of seconds.

    I was heading towards Shaun’s house, by using the market route. When I reached a T-juntion, a red colour Kenari came out suddenly. I wasn’t able to dodge in time, so my cas was hit on the side door.

    I stopped the car, open the say and said, ‘Walau auntie, how did you drive?’ The auntie just said, ‘I saw no car coming’. I was stunned but never mind. I called my mom and the only thing I heard from her is aiyooo. I can’t get to Shaun at that moment. I came out from my car, locked it and walked towards the auntie. I was kind that time and asked, ‘Auntie, are you OK?’ She replied, I’m fine but the car is not fine.’ She shows me the damaged she got. Her car’s bumper dropped and she said mine was not as terrible as hers (I do not know that).

    I told her that my parents were on the way and asked her to discuss with them. She said she’s in rush and I tell her I also in rush to college. She asked me where I study and tell me where she lives, but not precise enough. So she asked me to give her my phone number and I gave. She told me that she will called me and I said OK.

    She then drove off and my parents came. The first thing they asked me is that where’s that person and I said just left. This make them so pissed off especially my mom. Scolding and yelling at me in front of the public for not getting her number and let her go. Then, I entered my car and my dad asked me for her car plate number. At the mean time my mom continue scolding me for being stupid, get bullied and cheated by people. I only replied her at a high tone saying, Ya la! She paused for a while and said, Why did you shout at me? I replied her, Can you stop saying all these? Can’t you understand my feelings with the situation I’m facing now?? She kept silence. My voice were trembling that time, I knew I was going to cry.

    After giving my dad the infos, he asked me to go to college first. I broke down in the car, thinking that why would mom wanted to treat me like that. I’m already in a bad condition. Everything she said only increase my pain. I know she’s worried about me, but can’t she put it in proper words? such as, what happened? are you ok? if you didn’t get the phone number then never mind, we’ll figure out other way. Are all these so hard to say?? I’m impressed with myself that I still able to concern about the auntie when she knocked me. I understand the feelings after an accident. You may be physically fine, but may not me mentally fine.

    However, Shaun drove to college today because the door couldn’t close tightly. I seriously cried the whole journey to college and even during Maths lecture. It’s just so hurt when I thought what mom said to me. But I managed to recover a bit after everything. Thanks a lot to my friends who give me advices and comfort me. That’s why I somehow feel that I can’t live without friends. People usually say can’t live without their bf or gf, but to me are friends.

    So, I don’t know what will happen next. I don’t know whether will that auntie call me, but i truly hope and wish that she will call. I really do not want to make a police report. I don’t know what’s the consequences, but I don’t wish to trouble auntie. So hopefully we can settle ourselves without the aid of the third party.

 

God, please help me this time, despite every bad karma that I have done.

Dear blog,

I just watched Eclipse with Jean Sean today after class. Luckily there's meeting for lecturers, so we rush to Wangsa Walk to watch the 12.10pm show. There's actually 2 choices of show that we want - Eclipse or Despicable me. But we chose Eclipse at last.

The story is far more better than New Moon. I yawned when I watch New Moon, but this was ok. However, there's too many kissing parts lol.

Jacob and Edward. It's always the old triangle thingy where 2 guys like the same girls. Jean Sean asked me a question during the show. Who would I choose if it's me, Jacob or Edward. I asked her to answer me first and she say she would not choose both. Looks like I'm the stupid one that go and think about the option xD.

Hmm.. If I were Bella, it's really not easy to choose one, because both of them are so protective, caring, kind and of course strong. But I think I will go for the vampire. I don't know what explanation I could give, it's just the first option that crosses my mind. Maybe it's because vampires are calm, except when they're flooded with blood. Wolves are a bit hot tempered. You can see why Jacob get angry so easily with Bella and many other reasons too. So because of that, i'll go for vampire team =)

Dear blog,

I got my MUET results today MORNING 2.18am, where I sent the SMS at 11.27pm. Can anyone ever imagine what feeling I had while waiting for the reply and at the same time sms-ing other friends. Every time when my phone beep, my heart stop beating for a second. You wouldn't never dare to look at the sender =D

So this morning, got up and saw they reply. It's weird that I'm not nervous as last night. I open the message. My IC number pass my eyes, and then my candidate number, lastly the word 'band'. I dare not scroll down but when I saw the top part of the number, I thought it was 2. I immediately scroll it down and I saw the number 3. Speechless for 3 seconds and I'm back.

Wow.... Band 3.. What would I going to tell my parents my result?? I'm surely they will be disappointed with it. Plus, it's unbelievable for me to get this result. I was relieved that it's not 2 but I'm still a bit sad and the next second, I didn't bother it anymore. I think I would if it's for IELTS.

It's indeed heartache where you're a person who speaks English at home since small and this is the results that you get. I know my mistakes during the test. So what I can say is, just leave this aside as there's more important things for me to worry of - A2. I can retake MUET anytime I want but not for A2.

So.... I think I will take IELTS first and then MUET again lol. I don't think I dare to screw my paper again for the next time, it's not fun at all =( and not to underestimate again.