Old feeling

Oh great! This old feeling is coming back to me again after so long, 3 to 4 years maybe.
I really hate this feeling!!! T.T

It's not a big matter actually, just a feeling where I feel I'm so useless and dumb.
Lab session again...........
OK! Let me make something clear first because I start anything.
To some people, they think I'm smart because I studies A level.
Well, hell no! Studying what doesn't prove your intelligence ok?
Just because I studied A level compare to those who took foundation, you can't say I'm smarter than you.

Basically, I'm just an average student and a very slow one.
I'm having hard time in understanding something in a short period of time.
That's why I absorb things slow.
This happens to me when I'm in high school.
I can know how frustrated a person can be after tons of explanation and you still don't get it.
I know exactly how that's feel!

Same thing as before, I was having a hard time just now understanding the plates.
Too many plates that I even got confused.
One person explain to me, I don't get it. Then two people and I still don't get it. THREE people explain to me AND I STILL DON'T GET IT!!
I see some of them some sort of having the slam face action and how impatient they are.
For that instant I just feel so useless that why can't I understand such a simple thing???????
I really feel like crying that time but I just hold it.

I don't know how I overcome it last time.
Well I think it's because I have bunch of girls who are willing to be extremely patient with me and explain to me slowly and one by one.
I just dislike the blur feeling....
Why 'you' come back now?? Should just remain 'dormant'.

Because of my this weakness, that's also one of the reason why I prefer to do things alone.
I just don't want to trouble people.
Different people have their own patience limit.
Mine varies with individuals but most of the time I'll try to explain as I can.
*note: patience in teaching and explaining is two different thing.*

Sigh....
I really don't know what to do with myself anymore.....