Finals is just around the corner or I should say this coming Monday. Studies been keeping me busy in updating blog but today I just feel like writing something.

Yea! It's Sunday now and middle of night (almost to 3am).
Less than 24 hours before I enter my battle field.

Honestly, this exam and especially this course is really tiring.
I'm not sure about other unis but yea, the way this uni handle the course it's really way too tiring, stressing and challenging.
Two days of exam but I need to study what had been taught for 2 semester, and I barely have only 2 weeks to study SO MUCH of things.

Targets: 1) Complete 26 questions with sub questions in 3 hours for first paper. 2) Complete 4 cases with sub questions in 3 hours, each case bare 25 marks.
Mission: Score at least 40% for each semester.

As you can see, this is really devastating.
Everything is integrated~ which I believe it have its pros and cons.

Yes, I admit at a moment I fear I'm not able to get through this. But today, something just strike my mind.
Everyone will have their first experience/time in doing anything.
For example, when we're small we had our first time wearing nursery uniforms and stepping into the kindergarten. For the first time, we had our test in kindergarten. For the first time, we sit for major exams like UPSR (standard 6), PMR (Form 3), SPM/O-level (Form 5), Pre-U, driving test and etc.

And after I enrol myself into this course, for the first time I had my consolidation test, OSCE, oral defence and now finals.
Yes and everytime for the first time everyone gets tense up including me. I get stressed up everytime, especially during my driving test and OSCE. But, at the end of the day I pass all of it. We passed! No matter how hard or how sickening it is, we passed.

People who know me, for every test or exams I did, I will screw some part of it. Like during my A Levels Examination. Hell yea.. For Mathematics, I have no idea on how to do. Not that I did not do any revision. I did all my past years, get it corrected and asked around. Worse come to worst is when I blanked quite a number of questions, maybe 3 or 4 out of 7. Indeed, I was worried after the exam that I'll fail this and that, bla bla bla, lots of negative thoughts. Who knows when the result was out, I actually passed! I didn't score, but just pass. There're many examples like during SPM I have no time to complete the questions and blanked a 10 mark question, some lesser ones and etc. At the end I somehow still pass. The moment I got my results I was so relieve. Each time it gives me a warning on my progress and that I must study hard.

So for this time, it will be my first time too.
Always have faith in yourself that you can do it, and you really can.
Whatever is done it's done, don't cry over spilt milk.
Like what Ms. Kelly told me during my OSCE, you'll never know if miracles fall upon you. So have faith and pray hard.

I'm writing here because I see many friends were scared. I am too but bring afraid don't help us to get any further. Isn't it better to spend time on studying than keep thinking about failure? LOA!!

And yea.. I have many plans after my finals, so I MUST AND WILL PASS THIS FINALS ONCE AND FOR ALL. I know I can do it!
I'm not being overconfident in this finals. I still have tons of notes to cover. I'm just having faith in myself and surrender whatever comes ahead to God. Only He knows it.

Be positive and good luck to myself and everyone!

Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday To Nicoleeeee~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday To YOUUUUUU~

Oh yea.. I just sang myself a birthday song ><
Haha...

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It's indeed a lonely birthday this year.
Too bad I was born in the month where everyone will be having their exams, a big one, including myself.
Well, it's alright, I don't blame them.
I still can celebrate my birthday alone right?
Yea~! I'm going back TARC to look at how things changed and enjoy my day at there.

21 eh?
The number seems big enough for me.

Hmm.. I remembered I had cut a cake few days ago.
Thanks a lot to them for the cake and also the surprises they planned, even though it does not went on successfully since I already figured it out.
I hope they won't be upset for that. It doesn't matter if I have a surprise party or not. What matters me the most is the heart and intention they're carrying.
Many people fail to surprise me with party, so yea... It's ok!
I understand and have received it.
And I got birthday gifts from friends too~ Thanks a lot =)

Somehow I feel a slight emptiness in me.
I don't know what I'm seeking for.
At first I wanted a big party but as the days come by, I feel that something small will be better.
Maybe it's because of exam that I can't really enjoy to the max!
I'll be feeling guilty if I do so.

Anyway, I must be happy!
Yea~ Once in a life time to celebrate my 21st Birthday!
A grown up girl now I would say =))

Cheerssss..

My cake prepared by Segi-mates =)

Yea~
Approximately 2 more weeks..
Can't wait for that day actually. It keeps me smiling the moment I think of it xD
I miss them, really and much even though I just talked with them yesterday.

This event somehow makes me realise, nothing is impossible.
LoA really is LoA.
I've always think of the impossibilities but someone always ask me to think of the possibilities.
Miracles do happen, it's how much faith you have in it.
I didn't do much actually but just hoping and I never knew things turn out to be what I was hoping for.
Funny but it's true =)

Exam, studies, responsibilities and etc really pisses us off sometimes, especially when you're having something so big like this coming up.
But still, those are important in our life. Entertainment is just part of life and to teach you when and how to relax.
Well, I'm really looking forward to this event.
Sadly I don't have a gown to wear on ='( if not it'll be the perfect wedding ever? Hmm..
But hey! As long I'm happy that matters the most.
And yea, I dislike attention a lot.

在恋情里，最难克服的就是距离.

I don't know what should I blog.
I feels like blogging yet I'm not in the mood, quite ironic eh?

Well yea, basically I've been killed by this OSCE, but I pity friends that need to resit it again.
It's really a life and death thing and I bet no one would want to go for the second attempt.
Well thank god so so so so much that I manage to pass on the first attempt.
I don't know how to show my greatest gratitude, but yea I know He's always by my side.

This coming Monday, another killing exam - oral defence.
This is first time we're going to sit for it and thanks to this integrated course, we have no idea nor any briefing at all so far.
All I know is there are RED FLAGS again! =="
Talking about red flags remind me of OSCE.
I'm so going to puke when I receive the message from friends.
I was like, what!? red flags again??
But luckily this exam is not as serious as OSCE as we won't be kicked out of the course if we fail, just losing 10 marks.
LOL, sounds little eh but I bet it's somehow a lot in a way.

And yea!!
My head has been filled up with his words.
I don't know what to say.
He's hot and cold which makes me puzzle sometimes but one thing for sure.

I'VE NO IDEA THAT WE SHARED SO MANY SIMILARITIES!!!!

Our attitude, character, lifestyle, thoughts, interests etc etc etc.
He's like the another me.
Damn, he tease me a lot, so much that I wanted to whack him sometimes but of course I know he's joking. But yea~ he succeed in making me laugh non-stop.
We can really talk but of course there's an end to it and I don't quite like the way it end.
It's pretty weird or funny that at a moment we can talk about EVERYTHING, the second moment dead silence, and his mood somehow changes.
Yea.. Like I said, we're like twins LOL.
I really love talking with him and he taught me quite a lot of things.
There's only one problem, if you don't know him, you'll definitely think he's cocky, really love to self praised, always thinks he's the best of all, only find you when he needs you etc etc etc.
Actually, there's always a reason behind of why he's behaving like that and I somehow came to understand it.

He has his own way and reason of doing it and of course since not many people understands him, so not many people appreciate it.
Well, he don't really care people who give bad comments about him (he shows love and care the tough way lol), all he wants is the best for that person.
Maybe at some way he's at fault but I think I understand why he behave in such manner.
Hmm.. I don't know but he's the first guy who know all of my weaknesses in a short period of time I suppose. Honestly, despite our busy schedule which leads to less meeting, the way he see through me somehow amazed me.
Funny thing that today he asked me if I'm his soul mate since we really really have so many in commons.
If I'm able to be by his side all time, I would probably answer him, maybe, who knows? =)

Oh yea~
Got back to Forsaken World after being "seduced" by Elaine and Jay on new things. So, I decided to go back and have a look.
Impressive! Too many new things which makes me look kinda outdated, or should say I am outdated right now. I'm too shy to further asking question, I look too noob for now. It's really hard for me to accept that I've turn from a good priest player (I don't call myself this but people said so) to a really dumb player. It's really been too long, around 8 or 9 months I think since I last log in.
I really miss her a lot!!

Everytime I step into this game, I can really forget about every troubles and worries. Friends at there are really quite open-minded. There're no hard feelings for everything we've said, because we all know that it's just a game and we're merely an online friends, unless we meet up =)
I miss my four square~~~~~~~~~ ><

OK! Had dinner with family at Souled Out!
Yea this is my first time having dinner at Mont Kiara.
I see many matt salleh ><
The food at there is quite good but my brother dislike their fish n chips, looks like I chose the correct meal =D
Oh yea, first time drinking mocktail!
It's awesomeeee..
I used to confuse myself with mocktail and cocktail, looks like I got my answer already =)
Had quite a great time today!

My carbonara~

Bloody Eclipse!! - Mocktail

Mom's spaghetti alfredo

Oh and special thanks to Dr. Ang, really for his willingness to let me in the room and listen to how he conduct a medical history and teaches me at the same time.
It's toooo good.. I really need more practices.

有时候，就是因会不会控制自己的情绪，身边的人变成了你的受害者。当你发现时，这一切已经太迟了。

最近，就是因为自己的情绪不平稳，连累了身边的人，甚至差点儿丢失了一段友情。我想，我还是事先给一个警告比较好，这样或许不会把事情闹得那么大。

我不善表达自己的情感，所以常常用沉默取代表达。我知道身边的人都会说我每次都“脸黑黑”，我奇怪，难相处，有时让人感到庇切，很无奈等等。人家怎么去想我不管了，真的不想去理太多了。如果觉得我给不到你们想要的东西，那就请别在渴望下去了，我已经很累。我不想在自欺欺人，明明就心情不好却要表示到一切都没发生。如果每天这样下去，我看我倒不如转科去读演艺？

对，有时候我很开朗，当不开心的时候就会隐藏自己，只是想让自己显的更独立更坚强。我就是不喜欢分享因为我觉得没这个必要，自己的事自己解决，干嘛要麻烦人家呢？所以朋友们，帮我个忙好吗？不要在胡思乱想，如果我真的讨厌你，跟你有过节，那我跟你说，打死我都不会去理你了。有时候，我心情低落，反应较大，不在于你们的问题，我只想要有自己的空间。不要问我为什么，我什么事，认识我较熟的人应该会知道我是不会说的。有时候是我的错因为我乱发脾气，所以真的很抱歉。下次，如果看到我这样最好别来找我，让我这个怪脾气自生自灭好吗？如果想找你谈天，我自己会主动找你。

明白了吗朋友们？对不起哦， 让我有自己的空间吧。就这一次让我自私点好吗？