My life changes after entering college..

Everyone told me that they prefer college life but to me is nothing but only pressure =(

I still enjoy my secondary life and hopefully one day I can go back there and study again but.... is impossible.

Every time or perhaps everyday I always see my classmates taking books out to study. I was like what the hell, books again?? Studying the whole time definitely not my style.

I'm a playful person that only seeks for entertainment. How do I score in SPM?? Easy to say, it was all last minute studying, burning the midnight oil every time =).
I know I must delete this habit but I still love to play!~~

Besides that, many problems pop up in front of me and I have to face it one by one. At first is problem related to friendship. I believe that's the worst of all until now.

Second is my own personal problem, something relating to my love story~ I think those who know me will know what is it =X.

Third! This is also another hurting one. I just had and accident lol~ I don't want to mention anything about that for now as I'm still facing that trauma even though I'm not the driver. People who knows me will understand it.

For my besties who want to know, you can ask Mei Yin or Ai Ling about it =). Just that I'll be crying if you want me to remember that day.

Maybe Elly and I are having the same thoughts that we prefer secondary life. I'll rather wear those unfashionable uniforms that keeping myself sad and being pressurized the whole time.

I've been quite moody these few days without any reasons..
Online most of the time these few days, for what reason I asked myself.
To see him? To chat with him?
I don't know, I really don't know.

He finally online today, few minutes ago..
But, why am I getting so nervous?
I shouldn't have this feeling.
I don't like him, do I?

This must be a mistake!!!
I can't like him but......
I sometimes seem to be missing his presence
Why??

I understand that he have to study hard now..
3 more months.... Just 3 more then it'll end... forever??
I'll wait....
I'll wait for that 3 months......

Let God decide our destiny - paired or unpaired


listening to - 心跳, sonic boom and synchronicity

Appreciation night was held at TAR College, Sport Complex. It is definitely going to be an exciting night, and I’ve been looking forward to it. I reached there at 5.25pm.

I saw HIM walked pass me at the entrance. HE can’t recognize me, not even a single part of me even though I smiled at HIM. I called HIM and HE stopped, and finally knew who I was. I was indeed a bit sad yet happy. HE told me that HE can’t recognize me due to the make ups. I chatted with HIM for some time before entering the hall.

HE looked charming that night (I told HIM this after the night via SMS) and my eyes just can’t kept away from looking at HIM. Every moment during the night, I kept noticing HIM. Noticed where HE sat, where HE was and what was HE doing.

I believe my action is somehow obvious and scary, hope I won’t scare HIM off like that. I always went close to HIM, but not too near. While I was sitting, I’d find a seat which is close enough to let me see HIM. I know I’ll be nuisance to HIM but this is something which I personally find it hard to control (so sorry about my weird behaviour).

The moment I’ve been waiting for finally arrived – ball room dancing. The dance floor was opened to the committee first, then to everyone. I was standing that time, trying to find where HE was. I saw HIM stood up and walked towards me and invite me for a dance. I threw my bag to someone else and walked with HIM to the dance floor. We were holding hands so naturally to the dance floor.

We didn’t talked much during the dance as we were focusing on our steps, so to me, the song ended too fast. Another song which is soft and romantic was played. HE was not too sure that HE’d like to dance that cause he have to put this hands around my waist and while I put mine around HIS neck. HE said that it is not suitable for us so we got back to our seat. While I was standing, looking at HIM and other people at the same time, a guy approached me and invited me to dance. It was Elly’s friend. I hesitate that offer for the first few seconds, but then I accepted his offer. It’d be embarrass for him if a girl reject his offer.

We walked to the dance floor together and I eventually walked passed HIM. I heard HIM telling me to go and dance. I really had nothing to say that time. We were hold hands at the dance floor, so that we won’t be dancing like how other people dance, BUT!! I was wrong. Out of a sudden, he shifted my hands over his neck, and he put his hands over my waist!!! I did ask him to wait but I guess he can’t hear me. So, we kept on dancing like that until the song end. Once the song end, I’m rushed back to my seat but another song with the same genre as before played at once. So he stopped me and asked me to continue *sigh*. He’s also a good looking guy but I prefer HIM.

Alas!! The song finally ended. Now everyone were enjoying faster beat songs even HIM, but I didn’t enjoyed much. As usual, I just stand one side, looking at HIM and of course other people (scary eh??). I walked towards the stage and saw HIM and HIS friends dancing happily. Then, HIS friend walked towards me and mentions something about camera and asked me to stay there. I listened to him but noticed where they went at the same time. Well, I didn’t see them taking or holding any camera. It was indeed a bit down because I didn’t get the thing that I want – taking photo, at least one piece with HIM.

Everyone was going back and I still haven’t taken a photo with HIM. I walked up and down at one side where HE can see me, while calling dad to fetch me. I kept on standing there hoping that HE’ll approach me and ask me for taking photo with HIM because I finally saw HIM holding a camera. I was going to leave but with a slow and heavy step. Then, I saw HIM ran towards me and offer it. Who would say no?? We snapped a few times because HE dislikes the one we took. At last, with HIS friends support, HE put his arm over my shoulder and I put mine around his waist for easier posture. The song we danced just now played again and he asked me for a one last dance. I accepted HIS offer and we walked to the dance floor. We chatted while we dance, and that was the happiest moment.

This will be our last dance and our last meeting. I just hope the time when we’re dancing can pause for a while. Even though HE said that we can still MSN but I know that the feelings will somehow be different or changed. After the dance, we let go of our hands and stood there for some tome, trying to find a topic to chat. HIS friend called HIM so HE got to go and we bid goodbye.

I walked to the entrance and waited for dad. Everyone was leaving one by one and last there was only me. Then I saw HIM came out from the hall with hid friend. HE bid goodbye to me again and walked to his car. I really hope HE’ll come and accompany me until dad arrives. Then, I saw HIM looked towards my direction and walked towards me. HIS friend told me that he’s here to accompany me. HIS friend went back and there left me and HIM. Well, we chatted for a while, all the topic was about academic. I don’t mind about it, at least I know HE’s concern about HIS studies. Another guy came out. I misunderstood this guy to be HIS friend, in fact he’s HIS teacher.

While I was going to leave, HIS teacher gave me a bouquet of flower. I reject at first but he said that it’s useless for him to keep that flower, so I accept it and HIS teacher did say that he represent HIM to give me the flower. HE denied it by saying that that HIS teacher gave me is because I said he is one of the TARC students. I too agree with HIM. After accepting that flower, dad’s here and I got into the car and left. Before leaving TARC, I see HIM walked towards his car and seeing HIM wearing that smart for the last time.

Maybe after reading this, some people will think that I’m in love with this guy. Even I also think that too but, honestly not. He’s a unique person with a unique thinking and maybe friends and I think that attract me a lot. If I really like him, then I think that’ll only be a one sided feeling, as Chinese always say 一厢情愿. Even though the probability for us to meet in college is less than 1%, but I’ll always remember the moment we spent together (I'll be happy if I can meet him XD). So now, I just have to treat everything the normal way, without thinking too much, right guys? Haha.. One more thing, thanks to all my friends for giving me the support to attend this night and to face him =P. Special thanks to Ming Ling for helping me in my make ups..

Sarayu and Me

Elly and Me

Carwyn and Me

Pei Chin and Me

Wai Kuan and Me

Me and one of the stpm teacher

Elly, Mdm Looi and Me

Me, Ms Jeswynna and Elly

Elly, Miss Tham and Me

The flower that I received

*For those who read this, please keep this to be a secret kay? I don’t want anything to ruin our friendship. Thanks =)*

23 July 2009

Today having gathering...
Ah Kok came back for about one week ald,
so have dinner together at D' Fortune
We also celebrate Boon Sing's birthday at the same time..
Happy Birthday ya~

Hmm.....
The food at there was not bad...
I ordered a spaghetti carbonara..
The gravy is a bit sour lol..
I also dunno why..
All I know that carbonara must have the cheese taste
But...
I can't taste it!!!!
Maybe my taste bud is too strong for cheese~~
LOL~~

Wen Ee also ordered the dish as me
yeah~~
Well actually, she ordered 1st
and....
I having problem choosing XD
The others chose chicken chop while Jenny chose fish n chips
Xin Yee didn't order any heavy meal cause she's full...
So.... she ordered ice-creams

Mei Yin's dinner

Ai Ling's dinner

Xin Yee with her banana split


Before our main dish arrive,
we ate our fortune biscuit...
Very delicious~~~
I think is because it is sweet lol~~

My fortune biscuit

The content

My fortune lol~

Everyone ate so happily...
Then!!
Wen Ee brought the cake to our table
I think Boon Sing dunno about this..
I also know this when I got there
Hehehe....


The staff at there played the birthday song with guitar
All of us sang...
The other customers all looked at us XD..
I think we've been a bit crazy that time..

Then everyone snapped photo with Boon Sing..
My pic~~~ HAIZ....
Not nice ald so I asked Jenny to DEL it ~.~
Nvm la.....
Then.....
*snap* *snap* *snap*
Quite happy that day la....

A gathering once a while is really not bad!!!!
I found this quote quite interesting near the washroom~
' A hug is a great gift one size fits all'


Guess Who are They!!!!

*listening to tsubasa chronicle's songs: - synchronicity, crying alone, a storm n fire, storm is coming and hear our prayer*

Tsubasa Chronicle Tokyo Revelation - Synchronicity

by Yui Makino

Kono nukumori wa doko e yuku no
Ashita ni nareba kiete shimau no
Mune no kodou o awaseta naraba
Onaji fukami e orite yukeru no

Itsumo itsumo soba ni iru yo
Donna tooku kimi no kokoro ga mayotte mo

Kurayami no naka ni futari de tadayoinagara
Mujaki na kotori no you ni tsubasa o yosete ita
Sabishii toki ni wa egao ni kakureru kimi wa
Tokenai koori no yaiba
Kono mune o sarashite
Dakishimeru
Zutto…

Kimi wa hitori de doko e yuku no
Furikaeru no ga kowai dake na no
Mune no katachi mo kanashii iro mo
Hontou wa kitto yoku niteru no ni

Itsuka kitto kaeru basho o
Futari onaji hakanasa de mitsumete iru

Kono yami no naka de donna ni hanarete ite mo
Kokoro wa nani yori tsuyoi kizuna de yobiatte
Sabishii toki ni wa waratte ite mo wakaru yo
Tsumetai yubi o namida de
Atatamete agetai
Soba ni iru…

Kurayami no naka ni futari de tadayoinagara
Mujaki na kotori no you ni tsubasa o yosete ita
Sabishii toki ni wa egao ni kakureru kimi wa
Tokenai koori no yaiba
Kono mune o sarashite dakishimeru
Soba ni iru
Zutto…

Translate:

Where is this warmth going?
When it’s tomorrow, it’ll vanish
If I synchronized the heartbeats of our chests
Would I be able to fall to the same depth as you?

I’m always, always by your side
No matter how far your heart strays

While we drift inside the darkness
Like innocent little birds, we huddled our wings together
You, who hide behind your smile when you’re lonely
Are a blade of unmelting ice
I bare my heart
And embrace you
Forever…

Where are you going alone?
I’m just scared of looking back
The figure in my chest and the sad color
Even though I’m sure that they’re actually very similar

With the same evanescence, we are gazing
At the place that we’ll surely return to someday

No matter how we’re separated inside this darkness
Our hearts call for each other with a bond stronger than anything
Even if you’re laughing when you’re lonely, I know it
I want to warm
Your cold fingers with my tears
I’m by your side…

While we drift inside the darkness
Like innocent little birds, we huddled our wings together
You, who hide behind your smile when you’re lonely
Are a blade of unmelting ice
I bare my heart and embrace you
I’m by your side
Forever…

12th July 2009

The big day finally arrived!! I finally able to go to OO night woo hoo~ (A night where we go there and watch our future models, seeing them cat walk and stuffs, something like miss universe la)
Wake early in the morning to get prepared because i'll be going to Emily's house. We'll go to Tarc together later.

Reach at Sg. Buloh ktm around 11am, then now have to find taxi go Emily's house ><. This will be my first time taking taxi alone. At first Emily said that the driver will gather some other people only depart but it seems like i'm the only who wants to go Emily's area. Of course very scared la when i'm alone but finally reached her house safely haha.. Go her house n chit chat only while waiting time to pass lol. We only start dress up around 1pm. After that make up and then when 3pm Jhan Eu come aldready lol... We also havent finish leh so asked him wait outside for while XD.. Reached there d!!! But have to wait for some time (actually quite long) only can enter lol. Accompany Emily to find her friend, Eugene to get tickets from him. Eugene is also one of the OO finalist. Then, i saw my friend, Carwyn who is also one of the finalist haha.. Asked her to bring us up to find Eugene for Emily (See... i so good lol). Before that, give Carwyn gifts. I also helped my friend deliver flowers to her while i gave a box of bird's nest lol~ Finally can see the real Eugene, I mean not through photo la.. Hmmm...... Quite leng zai la but is a bit different from photo lo. He don't look that nice in photo haha.. That time Carwyn's partner is also there.. This one is super hot wahahahaha but also don't look nice in the photo =(. After getting ticket from Eugene, went back to wait again lol~~~

We only enter college hall around 6pm. Reach there at 3.30pm, 6pm only enter haizz... Then, sit down have to wait some more lol!! Wait for those VIP to arrive haiz... The whole event only starts at 7pm. A lot of performance, especially the performance finalist. We have two categories for OO finalist, one is campaign and the other one is performance. All the finalist that I know is from performance haha.. So, they do cat walk, posting, introducing, a small live musical (something like drama), every school talent which means school's performance ( we have mainly 5 schools - School of Pre U, School of Business Study, School of Arts and Science, School of Social Science and Humanities and School of Technology) and for campaign, they just held a charity campaign.. I feel that is really interesting la.... Maybe because my friend is taking part, who knows.. Well some of the finalist that i saw really looks a big difference!!! I think is due to the make up.. Emily and I hardly believe our eyes cause is like from a pretty to a normal person only >