Yesterday, the same exact feelings which happened 4 years ago lay upon me again.
It was still fresh in my mind as if things were just happened a minute ago.
That time, I had a farewell gathering with my friends for Shaun and Ah Boon entering NS. I remembered very clear that on the way back I somehow couldn’t control my feelings and cried in the car. Thinking back right now, it’s pretty funny but they were astonished to see my reaction. Shaun was supposed to send the rest back first before me but my reaction made him went back to Ai Ling’s house to get her again and send me back at once. Their shocking reaction really made me smile widely, knowing that this is how cute they can all be.
3 years back, Jenny is about to go to Australia to further her studies. Despite making and giving her big photo album, I still find myself unable to accept the fact that she’ll be leaving.
She had been with me for so long and I knew her since primary. She’ll always be there for me, definitely.
On her departure day, I was extremely sad because I’m having test on that day and couldn’t send her to the airport.
I phoned her before she entered the plane, wishing her the best of luck and stuffs. I knew my voice was trembling that time but not knowing if she realise it.
For this time, I managed to hold back my tears because they are so many people around me and it’ll be pretty weird if I just burst into tears like that, but I can’t deny that my eyes were watery.
Same thing happened again last year when King is going to UK for studies and will not be coming back after 2 years.
I went to the airport with some other friends to see him off and I’m proud with myself that this time I remain strong.
No tear, no watery eyes but a little bit of sourness in my heart. Perhaps my emotions were influenced by other people.
Yesterday, knowing that JH will be entering NS, there’s a slight sadness in me.
Well, entering NS, no big deal at all, shouldn’t cry. This is what I thought to myself few days back. Yet, I can still feel tears falling down lol.
I’m not sure if anyone ever wonder why would I even cry on such occasions or my reaction ever irritates anyone.
I really don’t wish or choose to answer their doubts because I know we can’t follow other people preferences.
There’s only one thing I can say, I will only shed tears if I know they’re someone important to me, they’re someone I can rely upon when I’m in need of help, they’re someone I really can’t lose.
I’m not saying other people aren’t important to me. They do play a role in my life, but life don’t let me to choose all of them.
I don’t care if people thinks I’m being way too emotional, cause that’s how I really am.
I don’t blame people for not being understanding. I know I’m naive in some way but honestly, if anyone really finds it irresistible all I can say is, don’t be close to me.
I can be nice but mean at the same time too.
But hey think about it, if someone’s willing to cry for you, that means you’re extremely important to them, right?
If you met an actor who fakes tears, then this is the time you should wake up and be aware of your surroundings.