It's sucks to have such feelings back..

Tried and told myself a billion, no, should be a trillion of times that don't go for it.. but still fail in the end..

I kept myself busy all day at work today, just to keep my mind free from any thoughts. But I realise, the more I try to run/deny/ignore, the more I start to think.
Dang! Don't really like it so much..

I almost lost control yesterday. Thank god I manage to control and held it back once again =="
I had my lesson long ago and I believe this is what keeps me from being so rush.
And yes, I realise I'm not being myself anymore if I continue like this.
This is what I'm afraid of from the start.

I still couldn't believe I've asked such a stupid question and made him worried.
Arghh.....
Never mind, I'll just gonna hold it longer.
Not going to let things burst out until I'm assure and certain.
I know I can do it.. Just be normal =)

Cheers!