I don’t feel my presence is that important anymore.
Maybe I'm wrong to say this but this is what i actually feel. I’m just a person who provides hope to the family. To be honest, i don’t think anyone likes me in the family. Well, sometimes they’re nice to me but not all the time. Maybe sometimes I'm wrong too but at least i feel guilty about the way i did.
Remembering my day for A night, i get helped from my best friend for my preparation. She dress up for me and eventually changed the way i look. I can see her effort when some friends of mine can’t recognize me. But, the moment i met my parents, i saw them laugh sarcastically. What is that suppose to mean? Can’t their daughter be pretty for her night too? I asked them two times on how do i look, only they give me their comment. Since, parents are like this then i think there’s no need for me to say about my brothers.
I can’t see fairness here. OK, everyone would always say the world is not fair. I always try to ignore this statement because i believe that everyone will always get things equally as everything is based on our karma. Maybe getting prejustice is my karma that leads me to failure in getting family’s concern.
I always have to defend myself and that’s why some of my personality changed when I’m at home. I tend to be more fierce at home than outside. Even though people always say the closest relation we have will always be our family but i feels that friends show more concerns.
I really don’t want to further to complain or comment anything. I understand that no matter what happen, they’ll always my family. But, i hope someday they’ll understand how i feel. I’ve been observing everything for a long time already. Talking to them is useless cause they’ll never admit when they made mistakes.
