CNY is over way long ago~

Sorry I was caught up with reports again that I couldn't manage to write a post.

Yea.. I've been thinking a lot lately too.

I'm starting to wonder where should I belong to. I don't find myself able to fit into the class like before. Not sure if I'm starting to be treated like an outcast. 

Well I'm the type who normally stays quiet and observe everything from a side. So that's what I found and feel based on my observation.

Honestly, I don't know what will happen to me once I'm in the UK. It looks like everyone has their own plans and obviously I can never be part of it lol.

Who would want others to be part in their life? Duh..

I hope I can really make it till the end. Fighting alone is never easy.
Although I prefer to solo most of the times but there're times I know it's not workable, this is not a game ><.

I'm so lost until I start to wonder if I've made the correct decision.
I know it's too late to turn back right now and all I have to do is moving forward.
But, along the path I'm walking right now I'm not sure if I could see anyone walking with me.

I hope they are people who's willing to be there for me.

Happy CNY and Valentine's day.

Sorry I've been away for a long trip from Malacca to Singapore.
What a splendid moment to have for this one whole week.

No doubt, I've been eating and eating during my stay in Malacca. Then headed to JB to visit Jia Qi. Oh man, I feel that I owe her lots, as it really lotssssssssssssss. Without her help I guess it'll be hard for me to complete one of my 2013's resolution.

I promise myself I'll go Singapore and I'm there right now and just got back today.

Oh and throughout this whole trip planning, I've lied to some people especially my family. I'm really sorry to behave in such a way because I'm afraid things might get worst, so I just want it to go on smoothly. Sorry mom, dad and sis.

The reason why I couldn't tell them the truth about my Singapore trip is because I'm going there alone to meet Glenn, which is my boyfriend. Mom and dad don't know I'm dating someone and they wouldn't approve it if they knew.

I had a wonderful time with Glenn, one that it's impossible to describe by only words. I never knew this day will come so fast and I'm really glad it did. Somehow I just wish that I had 48 hours or more instead of 24 for yesterday. I really love the moments we're together.

Right now I'm back to Malaysia and I know I'm so gonna miss him a lot. I hope the both of us can really last and praying that both of us can succeed in life, and help each other later on =).

Yay!! Finally it's holiday now~

CNY is just around the corner so I guess I need to get myself prepare. But still there're too many things to do >.<.

I won't be at home for the whole week, busy going here and there. Since this will be my last year celebrating in Malaysia, I wanna make it memorable =D. Hope I could get BIGGER ang pows =3.

And yea.. I'm very exhausted now. Today is Jenny's Birthday and so the girls and I decided to have a picnic. Guess where, my house LOL. This is really laughing my ass off. Too funny~ Can you imagine the all of us sitting at the car porch??? Neighbours gave us a weird look when they passed by my house hahahaha.

It's fun anyway =)). I love meeting with them because they're just as crazy as ever!! xD

Alright, that's all for now, I need restttttttt, very sleepy though hehe..

A very big congratulations to myself that so far things are settled down now. I'm done with that freaking report which made me stay up until 6.30am. I guess I've only slept for 2.5 hours that day. Anyway, it's over now so I'm not going to think about it again, just hope I pass this one. #pray

Next, Jenny is back!! I'm definitely very happy about this since I don't get to see her all the time (she's currently working in Australia). I love being with her, I love her presence and I love the time we spent together always.

10 years... How fast time flies =).
We spent our time together for the past few days, with her boyfriend and brother as well =).
No one can ever imagine the bond between us. I just know we've been through hard and sweet times together, quarrels or fights etc but I'm grateful that all these made us stronger. Other than one person, no one can ever understand me like she does, so I should say I'm really fortunate to get to know her.

Alright! Time to continue with my studies or report again since I've been slacking for these few days *heh*


I'm glad to have you around, you're just simply irreplaceable. I love you, Jenny ma >.<

Finally got to rest a bit today since everything has been postponed. It's a good and bad news actually. Good news is I got to relax and slowly focus on one, but the bad news is, I'll be facing lots of exam in just a small period of time.

That's not the main point for today actually.

These few days I've been busy and stressing over many things. Another one just 'droop by' when I'm not even done with one. And, I'm guessing I've made a wrong estimation.

The guilt is always there in me right now but I've no idea on how to solve it. I don't want to make any unnecessary moves which cause the situation to be more complex anymore. It's already too complex right now. Everything deviates from what I imagined. This is really beyond my expectation and it's really sickening for not being able to solve it.

I just want to apologize to those who are involve, sincerely and deeply. I'm sorry. I really never thought this will turn out like this. Perhaps a simple apology doesn't work anymore but I really hope we could still be how we used to be. I don't want such a small thing to came in between us, it's not worth it at all.

I know these people love and care for me a lot, and they're worrying for me all the time.

It's alright guys, I know what I'm doing and I'm really living fine now. I'm big enough to understand things even though I may need some guidance at times. But let me solve this myself, I promise I won't get hurt. Even if I do, I promise not to complain about it because I know I need to bear the responsibilities myself. I appreciate every advice given by you guys, really. I've had you guys worry too much about me and not to say causing many troubles. I can't bear to see things keep going round and round and definitely don't wish to cause anymore burden. I'm really sorry if whatever I've done have cause anger in you. You may choose not to forgive me but I'll always remember your existence and the importance of having you. Thanks so much for being with me all the time, through the good and bad ones. I do hope we're always one even after I've gone to UK in 7 months time from now. Love you guys lotss.

Head feels heavy the whole day today, even after I took panadol and had a 4 hours nap.

Too stress lately and many things to think about.

Expectation, demands, hopes, wishes etc.

Can't take it anymore. Lights off.


'Who is willing to stay back for me?'

Hiiiiiiiiii!! I'm guessing I've left this blog for quite some time, hopefully not until the extend that I can see 'cobwebs' all over. I've been pretty busy lately especially when my Uni starts again!! *argh*

2 weeks holiday is just too short. Apparently there's not much activity to do, just feeling so lazy to get my butt off the house. Hmm.. Yea, spending time taking with friends, playing with them and etc =).

Christmas and new year?? Hmm.. Nahh.. Nothing special on these two days. Rotting and counting down to these two days by myself *lol*.

Anyway!! That's not the whole idea for today. Finally or maybe for the time being, I can put my heart at rest, all thanks to Sandy!

I was confused + lost + in a dilemma situation yesterday. My mom wants me to go uk immediately after my finals to work for 3 months but my heart don't really feel like going because of certain reasons. Nic will never act without a reason. The request my mom gave me was actually splendid but it just came in AT THE WRONG TIMING. I already have my own plans after finals and I just want this plan to carry out perfectly and smoothly.

Now, I need to think of a mutual way to reject my mom. Sandy told me this, it's up to me to decide whether which path is worthy. I can't choose two if I want a perfect one, so means I got to sacrifice one. Obviously without a second thought I know which route is more worth to choose.

I'm so desperate in visiting singapore so of course I will give up the job offer in uk. I think I'll lose my soul if I listen to my mom. So in the end, I still got to choose what my heart really wants =).

Well I'm just thankful with Sandy being there. At least I know at times, I'm not fighting all these troubles alone *hehe*.