Finally got to rest a bit today since everything has been postponed. It's a good and bad news actually. Good news is I got to relax and slowly focus on one, but the bad news is, I'll be facing lots of exam in just a small period of time.

That's not the main point for today actually.

These few days I've been busy and stressing over many things. Another one just 'droop by' when I'm not even done with one. And, I'm guessing I've made a wrong estimation.

The guilt is always there in me right now but I've no idea on how to solve it. I don't want to make any unnecessary moves which cause the situation to be more complex anymore. It's already too complex right now. Everything deviates from what I imagined. This is really beyond my expectation and it's really sickening for not being able to solve it.

I just want to apologize to those who are involve, sincerely and deeply. I'm sorry. I really never thought this will turn out like this. Perhaps a simple apology doesn't work anymore but I really hope we could still be how we used to be. I don't want such a small thing to came in between us, it's not worth it at all.

I know these people love and care for me a lot, and they're worrying for me all the time.

It's alright guys, I know what I'm doing and I'm really living fine now. I'm big enough to understand things even though I may need some guidance at times. But let me solve this myself, I promise I won't get hurt. Even if I do, I promise not to complain about it because I know I need to bear the responsibilities myself. I appreciate every advice given by you guys, really. I've had you guys worry too much about me and not to say causing many troubles. I can't bear to see things keep going round and round and definitely don't wish to cause anymore burden. I'm really sorry if whatever I've done have cause anger in you. You may choose not to forgive me but I'll always remember your existence and the importance of having you. Thanks so much for being with me all the time, through the good and bad ones. I do hope we're always one even after I've gone to UK in 7 months time from now. Love you guys lotss.

Head feels heavy the whole day today, even after I took panadol and had a 4 hours nap.

Too stress lately and many things to think about.

Expectation, demands, hopes, wishes etc.

Can't take it anymore. Lights off.


'Who is willing to stay back for me?'

Hiiiiiiiiii!! I'm guessing I've left this blog for quite some time, hopefully not until the extend that I can see 'cobwebs' all over. I've been pretty busy lately especially when my Uni starts again!! *argh*

2 weeks holiday is just too short. Apparently there's not much activity to do, just feeling so lazy to get my butt off the house. Hmm.. Yea, spending time taking with friends, playing with them and etc =).

Christmas and new year?? Hmm.. Nahh.. Nothing special on these two days. Rotting and counting down to these two days by myself *lol*.

Anyway!! That's not the whole idea for today. Finally or maybe for the time being, I can put my heart at rest, all thanks to Sandy!

I was confused + lost + in a dilemma situation yesterday. My mom wants me to go uk immediately after my finals to work for 3 months but my heart don't really feel like going because of certain reasons. Nic will never act without a reason. The request my mom gave me was actually splendid but it just came in AT THE WRONG TIMING. I already have my own plans after finals and I just want this plan to carry out perfectly and smoothly.

Now, I need to think of a mutual way to reject my mom. Sandy told me this, it's up to me to decide whether which path is worthy. I can't choose two if I want a perfect one, so means I got to sacrifice one. Obviously without a second thought I know which route is more worth to choose.

I'm so desperate in visiting singapore so of course I will give up the job offer in uk. I think I'll lose my soul if I listen to my mom. So in the end, I still got to choose what my heart really wants =).

Well I'm just thankful with Sandy being there. At least I know at times, I'm not fighting all these troubles alone *hehe*.

I'm too bored~
This year is totally differently from the previous years. I will normally go for countdown with friends but not this year, because I want to be with my family, but only my parents are at home ==, and they are watching dramassss.
So I'm rotting at home until 2013.

Anyway, 11 more mins to 2013. Let's summarise what I've done this year =).

1. I finished my level 1 Pharmacy course which literally makes me fly over the moon.
2. Didn't really had a great 21st Birthday celebration as exam is just around the corner #screwit
3. Worked for a few months to gain some extra pocket money.
4. VISITED OTHER COUNTRY FOR THE FIRST TIME - SINGAPORE!!!!
5. Had a splendid gathering with Elaine, Albee, JY and JH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Headed back to FW.
7. Moved from official FW to Vendetta.
8. Met a few people through Elaine - Luis and Glenn.
9. Got married in FW *hahahahaahaha*
10. Got to know a surprising news - Snowy and Sethagius is currently dating right now!!!! Wow! Grats! xD
11. Went back to Uni for my second year course.
12. Stress up all the way with test, reports and OSCE.
13. Got emo for quite a few times *hehe*
14. Quarrelled with my mom, cold war for a few days =(
15. Spent more than RM150 in a week @.@
16. Moved from Vendetta to Raiderz.....
17. Got myself an iPhone!
18. Posted something to Singapore =3
19. Missing and loving you =)

Hmm.. It's not in sequence but who cares xD.

Happy New Year, 2013 to everyone! May everyone be healthy and best of luck from ME!

I'll make sure I get myself to Singapore in 2013!!! And of course passing my level 2 with flying coloursssss xD.

I promise I'll care and love you more in 2013 =). You do the same too, ok? =)

This year Christmas is the worst of all.

Not doing anything but just rotting at home.

Heart is too lonely to type anything, so good night.

Finally! It's time to chill a little.

Everything is finally over but still got to work hard. There's still assignment to do, there's still things to brush up on. Soon, I'll be getting busy again.
For now, I just want to relax my muscles and mind #letmerest

Christmas is just around the corner.
This year would be my last year celebrating Christmas in Malaysia as next year I'll be celebrating it at UK!! =). How cool is that?
But... Don't think I'll get to have a splendid Christmas this year.
Hmm.. I don't really celebrate but I wish I could do something on Christmas.
There's one plan initially but it failed so yea I don't know what else can I do on that day.
Maybe I just sit around at home, stare at my computer while listening to the fireworks start to spark on Christmas Eve.

I.... really really want to spend my time with someone on Christmas.

Finally done with that literature review (3500 words).

It took me quite long to complete it.

It's been really really a tough one week for me, not only for report but other things as well.

Right now I really wish I'm able to go to somewhere far, where no one knows me and just enjoying the nature.
I want to clear my mind from this stressful life.

I've been waiting and waiting. For what? I don't even know it myself *lol*.
Just simply waiting for something to appear or drop from the sky =D