Finally! It's time to chill a little.

Everything is finally over but still got to work hard. There's still assignment to do, there's still things to brush up on. Soon, I'll be getting busy again.
For now, I just want to relax my muscles and mind #letmerest

Christmas is just around the corner.
This year would be my last year celebrating Christmas in Malaysia as next year I'll be celebrating it at UK!! =). How cool is that?
But... Don't think I'll get to have a splendid Christmas this year.
Hmm.. I don't really celebrate but I wish I could do something on Christmas.
There's one plan initially but it failed so yea I don't know what else can I do on that day.
Maybe I just sit around at home, stare at my computer while listening to the fireworks start to spark on Christmas Eve.

I.... really really want to spend my time with someone on Christmas.

Finally done with that literature review (3500 words).

It took me quite long to complete it.

It's been really really a tough one week for me, not only for report but other things as well.

Right now I really wish I'm able to go to somewhere far, where no one knows me and just enjoying the nature.
I want to clear my mind from this stressful life.

I've been waiting and waiting. For what? I don't even know it myself *lol*.
Just simply waiting for something to appear or drop from the sky =D

Just got back from Outbac Camp on Saturday night.

I remembered the next morning, my whole body was aching, especially both of my arms and because of that I lost the mood to do everything.
Can't even change or remove my clothe, bathing also hard, and straightening my arms totally kills me <.<

But yea I had fun at there. It's like a mini NS camp, excluding those marching.
However! All of us were covered with mud! Actually just the lower part of my body.

After the team match, we got the chance to experience the activities there like flying fox, kayaking, volleyball, basketball, wall climbing and etc.
I only went for flying fox and wall climbing and not kayaking because I don't want to get myself wet again. While for the other two, I don't actually know how to play so I'm skipping myself for that =).

Had my first experience for wall climbing and it was really fun.

All I did is just focusing on climbing up that WALL. I don't even know how tall it is and of course I managed to reach the end point =D.

Then I had dinner with friends back in area around Uni.
So freaking tired after the whole day running here and there.

Even though my team was the last but we had lots of fun =).

Pic shooting after lunch

Everyone listening to group leader for the STATIONS!

'The King of Ball'.
Everyone got to carry it and walk around the field a round <.<
Basically, due to my height I wasn't able to see what's in front haha.

Everyone entering a pond with MUD to search for 5 Milo packets!!
If you watch 'Running Man', this will be like the basin~
Could not move yourself once you're in there.
Your legs apparently got stuck.

Me swinging like a Tarzan~ =3

I made a collage of the most difficult one for me.
Seems easy but it's not, until you mastered it - your balance!

OK! This is the 2nd toughest station to me.
Everyone has to climb over that wall with the height of equivalent to 2 people.
And, those that had climbed over are not allowed to help, except for the 4 people
on the top LOL. To make the last person to climb over gave us some headache >.<

Starting fire to boil water for our Milo.
Too bad we failed to light up the fire >.<

Me for flying fox~
Hope it could be higher and faster ><

Wee~ We're ready for wall climbing hahas xD

Hoho~ I reached the top and ready to go down

Me and two ah moi >.<.
They're like sisters to me.
Hate it when I see myself looking so pale *sigh*

My team!! xD

I think I slacked quite a lot ever since I gave myself one day break ==.

Anyway... Today is Friday, ermm nope Saturday now~ *Damn time flies*

And so, I managed to ask Dr. Mak about my literature review's topic and how thoughtful of him for searching for me as well. Annnnnnnnddddd, he explained it to me so I think part of the doubts that I've is cleared now. #thankful #=)

Oh ya, Friday morning I'm unsure if I've made the correct decision. I just somehow let someone know something I don't really want that person to know, hmm.. Even though that person said he's not mad but.. I don't feel good about this. Hope I'm thinking too much again, as usual X.X.

Well I'm sorry if it's really harsh, and yea it is, like you said to me. I really didn't mean to actually, just very down that time. So...... I'M SORRYYYYYY~ T.T

OK! Need to sleep, have to go for Outbac camp tomorrow *ughh*

I'm just goooooona take a break for today =).

Esthy asked me why am I looking so wan lately this morning.

Erm.. Stress perhaps >.< and on top of that I've been thinking quite a lot lately. I got a little upset that things didn't turn out the way I wanted.

So for today, I'm gonna take a break from everything, especially my literature review, which actually caused most of it.

And..... I would like to thank someone who called me yesterday night and we chatted for quite some time. I felt better after that even though I refuse to end the call *wahaha*
Thanks for always be by my side =).

Hmm... Just thought of something yesterday. I've decided to give myself one more try. I read a quote and it says, if you're giving up right now, then why hold it for so long in the first place? So, I'm going to continue hold on to it again.
Next year! I'll definitely achieve it. Well of course, the earlier the better =).

OK! Got to continue my relax time. Tomorrow will be another busy day @.@

I don't know what else can I do.

Apart from being so clueless about my assignment, I've just received a bad news. A bad BAD news.

From this bad news, I was wondering if is this what God is arranging for me? If yes, then I would like to know why.
I always believe, everything happens for a reason. So, why would Him stop me this time??

I planned on going down to Singapore to meet the girls and kid at the same time.
Things were working out fine.
I was overjoy when Elaine told me that I could stay at her place, this save me up lots of money.
Too bad, at the end things don't really seems to work.

The girls will be busy with their own plannings, and kid might be having test that week.

I already knew what bad news it'll be but I still broke down at the end.
Because this is MY WISH, one that I desire so so much and it just slipped away from my hands so easily.

I don't blame them for having plannings on that day.
In fact, I blamed myself for being selfish, for not being considerate.
Everyone will definitely have their own planning on Christmas and yet I was hoping or maybe wanting them to spend their time with me.

I'm sorry.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope you guys, especially Jia Ying can enjoy that day to the max =).


It really doesn't matter anymore if I couldn't meet kid. It's like part of me is starting to give up on the hope of meeting him.
Because I really don't want to be the only one who's putting the effort.
If... by next year we still fail to meet, I'm...... going to make the worst decision ever in my life.


Well, let's hope it'll go smoothly next year.
And for tomorrow, pray hard that I can get a single clue about that freaking assignment.

I think I finally know what is my this assignment about.

Litreature Review. It is to review the researches done by scientists/researchers in a particular subject/area.

So basically I need to study those research done by people and come out with my own review and evaluate it?? #wtf

Hell man! This is the very first time I'm doing this. I'm not trained with it, so how am I going to know what's the proper way to write?
Google search for example!!! I straight give this face (=.=)  to anyone who ask me to do this. It's easier to say than done.
It's just like asking a kid to walk even without teaching him or by telling him verbally???

Simply by theory doesn't help. I believe we need some guidance in how to write, at least an example?? Or any ways?
We're so unfamiliar with the formats and not sure what is appropriate and what is not.

Well I did Google up on HOW TO WRITE, but I don't get it at all.
No idea what's going on even though I can roughly tell what's a litreature review is now.

Then, just read some post posted by lecturer about this OSCE thing. Hell! Now we have more to know/study/learn.
Gosh! I think I'm going to have a mental breakdown.
It's freakingly giving me a phobia to view that group page already.