I don't know what else can I do.

Apart from being so clueless about my assignment, I've just received a bad news. A bad BAD news.

From this bad news, I was wondering if is this what God is arranging for me? If yes, then I would like to know why.
I always believe, everything happens for a reason. So, why would Him stop me this time??

I planned on going down to Singapore to meet the girls and kid at the same time.
Things were working out fine.
I was overjoy when Elaine told me that I could stay at her place, this save me up lots of money.
Too bad, at the end things don't really seems to work.

The girls will be busy with their own plannings, and kid might be having test that week.

I already knew what bad news it'll be but I still broke down at the end.
Because this is MY WISH, one that I desire so so much and it just slipped away from my hands so easily.

I don't blame them for having plannings on that day.
In fact, I blamed myself for being selfish, for not being considerate.
Everyone will definitely have their own planning on Christmas and yet I was hoping or maybe wanting them to spend their time with me.

I'm sorry.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope you guys, especially Jia Ying can enjoy that day to the max =).


It really doesn't matter anymore if I couldn't meet kid. It's like part of me is starting to give up on the hope of meeting him.
Because I really don't want to be the only one who's putting the effort.
If... by next year we still fail to meet, I'm...... going to make the worst decision ever in my life.


Well, let's hope it'll go smoothly next year.
And for tomorrow, pray hard that I can get a single clue about that freaking assignment.

I think I finally know what is my this assignment about.

Litreature Review. It is to review the researches done by scientists/researchers in a particular subject/area.

So basically I need to study those research done by people and come out with my own review and evaluate it?? #wtf

Hell man! This is the very first time I'm doing this. I'm not trained with it, so how am I going to know what's the proper way to write?
Google search for example!!! I straight give this face (=.=)  to anyone who ask me to do this. It's easier to say than done.
It's just like asking a kid to walk even without teaching him or by telling him verbally???

Simply by theory doesn't help. I believe we need some guidance in how to write, at least an example?? Or any ways?
We're so unfamiliar with the formats and not sure what is appropriate and what is not.

Well I did Google up on HOW TO WRITE, but I don't get it at all.
No idea what's going on even though I can roughly tell what's a litreature review is now.

Then, just read some post posted by lecturer about this OSCE thing. Hell! Now we have more to know/study/learn.
Gosh! I think I'm going to have a mental breakdown.
It's freakingly giving me a phobia to view that group page already.

One week break is ending soon and what I've done? Nothing much.. I just know I have this 3500 words essay on my shoulder which makes me unable to enjoy till my heart content.

Rowatinex in treating kidney stones. My topic for this essay. Hint: Rowatinex efficacy. The topic sounds easy and I've got some tips to start before my break. And so.. I started my research today, yea today xD. Crap~ I've found nothing at all from the web, not even a single chemical structure. Is Google being mean to me right now? Hmm..

I'm so lost now. From that topic I thought I could start discussing on the use, it's pharmacology (dynamic and kinetic -ADME), metabolides, chemical structure, side effects or perhaps history. So many points right to write a dreadfully long essay. But too bad none of the info I want can be found on the net. The net just tells me bunch of sales thingy which I don't want. I need a RELIABLE source to write my essay man, a professional one. I also found some or actually most of the articles about the same experiment which it's aim is to find the effectiveness of that drug after ESWL (extrapoceal sound wave lithotripsy). What's next after this???

Ok!! I know the so call short mechanism action of Rowatinex. It is a diuresis which reduced renal spasm so the renal way dilates, more stones can be removed and increase renal blood flow. When I knoelw this I was like, oh I see, then? What's next? I'm not seeking for spoon feeding, it's just that I can't find extra info. That simple action doesn't explains much. Sorry to say I'm not a genius so don't expect me to know everything. If I do, I won't be here xD.

So.. I'm extremely lost right now. I don't know how to start a word in that blank sheet page. And!! I need to submit 2 weeks later. Sounds long but not. I'll be having mock law test next Tuesday, no idea how is it going to be done and soon mock OSCE, one of the killing exam. Arghh!!!

Rowatinex please be kind with me T.T. I need to do my assignment. I'm clueless and no point at all. And yea I would like to apologise to my dad. He wanted to see my test results I sat last week and apparently I refuse it harshly. One, I'm on game, not really convenient that moment. Two, my results didn't meet my expectation, so I don't want him to see. So, I'm really sorry. Can't blame me for being a partial perfectionist. I promise to let him see if and only if my results are good!

Ok!! 4.33am now, all thanks to Rowa for keeping me worried for not able to think of ideas @.@. Be nice to me tomorrow. Tataz and nights.

Yesterday rushed assignment until so late, sooooooo I just woke up not long ago..

Well I have no choice but to complete it within 2 days since I have test and exam in the same week. But thank god that Dr. Audrey changed the dateline to today. Now, it's 95% completed, left one more part to go *phew*.

And...... After this there's another one freaking long to submit (3500 words essay) ==.
I hope I can complete this. This will be my first time ever to write such longggggg report and it based on only one topic, and we need to dig out many infos from that topic. @.@

Oh ya! another report as well, a short one but I've done that earlier on. It's just that I've exceeded the words limit so not sure if I'm going to reduce it since this is a group report.

Anyway.. That's all for now, gotta continue on the final part.

I'm still awake at this hour!
Looking out from my balcony, closing my eyes and feeling the night breeze, many memories keep passing through.
Not going to explain why am I doing so, but if anyone had experienced this, they'll surely know the reasons =).

Guess I'm really crazy~

Well I've not update my blog for quite some time. I was busy with tests and finally over, now assignments then test again @.@.

But right now I'm just trying to clear my head.
Too many things keep flashing in my mind and I don't know what to do about it.

Listening to songs in Moonlight That Embraces The Sun (a KDrama) is really so soothing.
The lyrics describe so much about my feelings right now.
Yea! How nice if I could travel through time *like the song in Back In Time by Lyn*.

Guess people will think I'm weak that I always want to go back to time.
Well what to do, things don't turn out I thought it would be?
Yea I know I should face it bravely, but I'm facing it alone and I'm somehow scared.

Well guess I'm suppose to sleep right now.
Hopefully every troubles and thoughts can just disappear when I wake up tomorrow.

On nights when wind blows

I gently close my eyes

It feels like you are right next to me

Without words, I follow and walk towards you

Step by step everyday

But I can't approach you

I got so tired after reading up on 6 screens long of articles?? Hmm.. Anyway, my heart and mind just fly back to where I was 2 months ago.

Singapore!!!!!!!!! 

Looking back at those picture, one word - MISS ='(

I miss them - my baobei, JY, Albee and JH.

I actually enjoyed too much that day to the extend that I DON'T WANT to go back Malaysia!! 

I don't care if Singapore is smaller than Malaysia, most important thing is I had fun. I lost count on when's the last time I enjoyed that much.

First time visit to Clarke Quay

In this picture, the most important thing is that ALL the girls are in a picture together.
Too bad no one could take for us, if not there'll be 5 of us ><.
Yea! This reminds me of woman's power in FW!
Heard of the Square? Here they are =)
*Square - a group which is automatically created, because it used to have a DD, AoE, Tanker and heals.*
Oh and in this picture clearly shows you the height in FW as well as in real life.
Doesn't matter whether it's in game or real life, as both are the same (maybe a slight difference only).

The ONE and ONLY ONE picture I have with my baobei aka my oma as well xD.

A party where you can always find the heal and off-heal together.
Because we're inseparable!!

JY JY JY JY JY!!! ><

This is my 2nd sister.
Too bad I didn't take picture with 大姐 =(
Even though I didn't talk much with JY on that day after dinner, and I don't know why.
But! I had fun with her being around *weeee*.
We sat together for dinner!!!!!!

2 healers!! Hahaha..

Think you could die in an instance??
Maybe, yes or no?
I answer will be ___ xD
I miss the healer/AoE behind me!!!
Hope he's doing well in NS.
Oh and my bangs went out of shape after having Korean bbq, argh! #ugly lol.

I just couldn't forget the times we spent together.
The prank I used on JH, the vege salads I made for them, JH removing the prawn's skin (lmao, this is really funny when I think back), me saying 'be right back' when we actually know that you're not in your seat, and we just joke around with 'afk', 'brb' (This is the side effect of Skyping too much muahaha) and etc.

A warmth feeling in my heart after remembering such wonderful memories.

Can get to bed now since I'm feeling better =).

I super duper really really really really wish I could go there again.
This time, not to tour Singapore but for a reunion and perhaps meeting someone new =3
Or maybe it doesn't matter anymore if I'm going there or not. What I really want is to be able to meet them again, regardless of where will it be (of course Malaysia will be the best place xD).

Miss and love you guys, take care =)

미안...정말 미안...

I wasn't able to do anything yesterday.
How I wish I could embrace you but I can't.

Forgive me.