Here goes again.

They start to get mad at each other and I'm standing in the middle don't know to do.

One side tells me this and that and the other side tells me that and this.

I keep trying to pull them back together, but not sure whether am I doing it correctly.

I really feel sad looking them like that, really really sad.

Why can't we just play at peace?

I prayed deep inside my heart.

I prayed between friendship and relationship, if I was given a chance to save one, I'm willing sacrifice my relationship.

It's not that I have get over with him, I haven't. I still misses him.

I think my prayer was heard. After my dinner, they were back together a little bit, at least they start talking to each other.

I seriously cannot take anymore if things keep like this.

Losing him already give me a strike and now friendship matters?? This will give me another big strike.

Since I already made my choice and I've chose them, I really have to let him go.

It's hurtful but I've got no choice.

Let's just hope what I wish for is really worth it.

Sigh..

Why do they have to start again??

Can't they stop fighting with each other??

The more they fight, the more they will make me remind of him.

Sometimes, I do wonder what will happen or what would I be if I have not listen to Virgil for going back to Perfect World.

I will not have a new account --> I will not know Kathy and Jaime --> I will not know Eric --> I will not know Darren --> I will not able to hear them fighting, or anyone gets moody.

Everything is a chain reaction.

This is the path I chose so no matter what I still have to go on with it.

我真心的恨你，真心的爱你

反复的伤害自己

爱是一场回忆，无声又无息，为什么不会消失

你的天空没有界限，我却一直守在这里， 永远冲不过距离

我们从来不该一起

我还是真正好想你

我對你　這一生　哪個可比
我與你　差一些　永遠一起
邂逅時間場地　似連場好戲
要自何頁說起

愛太重　深呼吸　欠缺空氣
愛太美　輕輕的　卻載不起
愛情來到時候　似明媚天氣
它走了　突然驟變雪落雨飛

如果可以恨你　全力痛恨你
連遇上亦要躲避
無非想（要）放下你　還是掛念你
誰又會及我傷悲
前事最怕有人提起
就算怎麼伸盡手臂
我們亦有一些距離

你太遠　該怎麼　說對不起
你太近　一轉身　卻已高飛
快樂也許太短　似場流星雨
一眨眼　就如幻愛怕又記起

我情愿我狠心憎你
我還在記憶中找你

你认真的看着我跟我说

你盯着我的眼睛说

是说了要分手吗？

和我结束是你想要的吗？

我知道 你有了别的女人

我知道 你对我厌倦了

只是眼泪不断流出

我会离开 你好好生活

我只能说那句话

我会忘记 好好生活

没有我也要幸福

被你丢弃的爱 你带走吧 全部带走

连对不起都不要说

不用担心我

说着要离开我时你的嘴唇为什么偏偏今天看起来那么可恨

我该抓住你 但却没有说出口 你已经渐渐远去

我知道 你会删掉关于我的全部回忆

我知道 我会恨你

你曾是我活着的理由

你曾是我想要的全部

你一直只注视着你的不是我吗？

为什么要离开我？

为什么要抛弃我？

反正早晚这样 当初为什么要爱我呢？

你还记得那天么？

我们初次见面的那天

我至今还记得 与你曾经的那个约定

只有我珍惜着 只有我遵守着 只有我爱着

我相信了你的谎言

你爱过吗？

NO

我会忘记的你好好生活吧！

Alright! I can't stand anymore!!!!

I really don't know what's in his mind right now.

Why can't he just read the letter that I sent??

It won't take up long to read right???

Just spend 5 minutes reading it, and no one ask him to spend an hour on that letter.

4 days had pass, and he haven't even open the sealed???

Fine! If he's not interested then fine.

He can throw it or burn it or do whatever he like.

I don't give a damn thing to know what is he planning to do with that letter.

I just wanted to convey how I felt and he don't seem to understand.

Looks like what I'm doing is just a waste of time.

My feelings can't reach him anymore.

If he just want those thing then tell me!

I don't want to know how is he going to settle that necklace.

If he want to keep it then keep it.

If he want to give other people then go ahead!

I don't care~!!!!

I am not expecting him to remember my birthday~

I am not expecting him to come and wish me on my birthday~

I am not expecting him to give me anything on my birthday~

Do you know why?

Because he's really like a stone man that still lives in a cave!

Don't know what to do and how to react.

I don't mind which girl will be his target next.

I don't mind how is he going to chase that girl.

I don't mind will he be happy or not.

He can go and chase any girl, break any girl's heart he like and hurt them.

Because I don't want to know, I don't want to care and I don't want to hear anything anymore.

If he's still behave like that, then I wish the best of luck in courting girls.

He has the cute look, but with his this attitude, long time dude, long time.

I'm not angry at him, I won't be.

I feel sad for what he is doing now.

He say we can still be friends.

Haha! Friends?? Am I thinking one sided again???

So you can't read what a friend wrote him?

He thinks that is a waste of time reading that???

Never mind!

Just go and do whatever he like~!

Not going to activate my Facebook account until I can fully get rid of him from my mind!

I have been very exhausted lately. I couldn't even imagine my life will turn like this. What mistakes have I done?? Why many unhappy things keep happen around me??

Losing Darren already gives me a big impact on my life. Now, I might lose another friend?? Why like this?? I really don't understand.

Kathy, Jaime and Eric.

Ever since I met you guys, my life has been like sitting on a roller coaster. Sometimes up and sometimes down, and I can't predict what will happen the next day.

Do you know that after losing Darren I've been struggling to live on. I'm fortunate enough that there're so many friends came to me when I'm feeling depressed and I'm very thankful especially to you guys because you guys know Darren too.

Do you know that ever since we start Forsaken World, I start to feel reluctant to go to work or doing OT? Because I just want to get home so desperately to see you guys. Each day while working, I'll think of you guys. I miss those silly jokes you guys said and keep calling me blur all the time.

Do you know when there's Nightmare Carnival, I'll reject any gatherings because I just want to enjoy this event with you guys? I admit it's very unfair to my friends but isn't it better if I don't attend the gatherings rather than keep rushing back?

I already lose Darren and I seriously can't afford to lose anyone now. I can't cope it anymore.

Losing Darren is hurtful, but losing you guys will be more painful.

There's already a wound in my heart now and I can't take anymore.

After knowing you guys,

I feel so proud to tell my friends about you guys.

I feel so proud to tell my friends how nice you guys are to me.

I feel so proud to tell my friends that we will have a trip.

I can just express my feelings so easily. I can cry whenever I want, I can laugh and I can get mad.

I even feel so happy that time when you guys know that I'm dating with Darren especially when Eric knows.

Never in my life have I felt so proud before of having virtual friends.

I don't see you guys as any online friends anymore. Each time when I start to mention about you guys, I'll get very excited and start using name instead of online friend.

But do you know that, the happier I get, the more hurtful it is when things don't go well among you guys.

I am very afraid when any of you guys start quarreling.

I don't cry doesn't mean I'm not sad. It's just that my heart is aching and I don't know what to do with it.

I can't work well today.

Get so frustrated easily and simply throw my temper to my colleagues (sorry about that).

Seriously I just hope things can keep working out fine between us.

Don't say sorry to me if any of you read this post by chance, you know I'll forgive you guys. Say sorry to yourself.

Honestly, I'm so gonna miss you guys when I'm away to UK.