I have been very exhausted lately. I couldn't even imagine my life will turn like this. What mistakes have I done?? Why many unhappy things keep happen around me??

Losing Darren already gives me a big impact on my life. Now, I might lose another friend?? Why like this?? I really don't understand.

Kathy, Jaime and Eric.

Ever since I met you guys, my life has been like sitting on a roller coaster. Sometimes up and sometimes down, and I can't predict what will happen the next day.

Do you know that after losing Darren I've been struggling to live on. I'm fortunate enough that there're so many friends came to me when I'm feeling depressed and I'm very thankful especially to you guys because you guys know Darren too.

Do you know that ever since we start Forsaken World, I start to feel reluctant to go to work or doing OT? Because I just want to get home so desperately to see you guys. Each day while working, I'll think of you guys. I miss those silly jokes you guys said and keep calling me blur all the time.

Do you know when there's Nightmare Carnival, I'll reject any gatherings because I just want to enjoy this event with you guys? I admit it's very unfair to my friends but isn't it better if I don't attend the gatherings rather than keep rushing back?

I already lose Darren and I seriously can't afford to lose anyone now. I can't cope it anymore.

Losing Darren is hurtful, but losing you guys will be more painful.

There's already a wound in my heart now and I can't take anymore.

After knowing you guys,

I feel so proud to tell my friends about you guys.

I feel so proud to tell my friends how nice you guys are to me.

I feel so proud to tell my friends that we will have a trip.

I can just express my feelings so easily. I can cry whenever I want, I can laugh and I can get mad.

I even feel so happy that time when you guys know that I'm dating with Darren especially when Eric knows.

Never in my life have I felt so proud before of having virtual friends.

I don't see you guys as any online friends anymore. Each time when I start to mention about you guys, I'll get very excited and start using name instead of online friend.

But do you know that, the happier I get, the more hurtful it is when things don't go well among you guys.

I am very afraid when any of you guys start quarreling.

I don't cry doesn't mean I'm not sad. It's just that my heart is aching and I don't know what to do with it.

I can't work well today.

Get so frustrated easily and simply throw my temper to my colleagues (sorry about that).

Seriously I just hope things can keep working out fine between us.

Don't say sorry to me if any of you read this post by chance, you know I'll forgive you guys. Say sorry to yourself.

Honestly, I'm so gonna miss you guys when I'm away to UK.

Our life is just like a live drama on a stage.

Everyone is doing their own part.

Everyone has their own role in the play.

Everyone just come and go.

The differences from the one we used to watch in TV are just that,

We don’t need a script. We just say what we want to say.

We don’t need a director. We just act the way we like.

We don’t need any special effects. We’re already living in a natural phenomenon.

We don’t need any background music. We’re the music itself.

We don’t need any eyedrops to pretend that we’re crying. We just cry when we feel we need to do so.

Life is rather complicated.

There’re so many paths to choose from after one another.

Different path leads to different outcome.

The lucky one will ends up living happily, while the unlucky one will ends up being miserable.

Everyone just come and go in our life.

We’ll only know the value of that person after we lose them.

So, appreciate everyone around you.

Some are bad while some are good.

But, they’re the ones that make your life interesting and fill with different colours.

p/s: No matter how hard it is, I’ll still wait for you to come back.

I'll wait for you..

No matter how hard it is I'll not give up.

I know it's impossible, but I'll keep trying.

I hope you won't feel I'm a nuisance.

Cause, I really cannot accept the way you leave.

I'm sorry I'm the one who ask you to choose and now I'm behaving like this.

I did that because I hope it'll make you feel happy and more comfortable.

I promise you that I'll be fine, but now I realise I can't.

I'm sorry that I didn't keep my word.

Well, I'm almost done with everything I need to send him the parcel.

I'll miss them.

That's the only thing I have now that keep me continue living.

Sounds so stupid eh. going crazy over a guy.

Today, got to know him a little more.

Enter a Chinese social networking, and got to know some of his previous relationship.

Wow, couldn't imagine he really love that girl a lot and he's feeling what I am right now.

It was last year, not long ago.

He still misses her last year July, after they broke off.

They broke off because the girl feels that he's too bored, no time for her, keep making her angry etc.

Sigh..

I'm so sorry, I promise him that I won't tell him the same thing, but looks like I'm more or less the same.

My heart aches when I read what he said.

I couldn't believe I'm complaining about it sometimes.

I'm really sorry, for not able to understand you well.

I really miss you, but I don't know what can I do now to hold you.

You're very far away from me now.

I think the feelings you used to have for me is fading.

Sorry to those who knows me and having my Facebook account.

Sad to say that, I have deactivated my Facebook account.
It's just temporary so don't worry, I'll be back when I'm feeling much better.

Sorry if you guys feel that I'm being too rush.
Because, I'm trying my best to not look at his profile and I hope by doing so I can at least control myself, though I know it's hard.
Feel free to send me an email if you need anything or just stop by at my blog.

My blog will always be alive, don't worry.
I'll take good care of myself and will not do anything stupid things.
Trust me!

Even though I'm quite down lately but I need got some of my sense with me.

Thanks for all the cares you guys gave me.

I'll try to be back soon..

I Already Miss You

It's ok even if i'm hurt

Wow..
Didn’t even realise i have the courage to ask him.
Now, everything finally come into an end.
He decided not to continue our relationship.

Though i do cried, but I'm happy.
I’m happy, as I know i really love him.
I'm happy, as he taught me a lot of things.
I'm happy, as i got to know myself better.
I'm happy, as i got my first experience though it didn’t end well.
I'm happy, as I'm not mad at him at all

I believe this is because i still love him
and
I know I'll miss him.

I’ll back off so he can live a better life.

I'm happy I've made such a big sacrifice.
though my heart starts to bleed after hearing he said not to continue.

Because……………

I LOVE HIM!!

Thanks so much!!!!!!!!

I'll back off so you can live better - G.NA