Things just don’t seem to be going on smoothly lately..
Too many things to take care of.
Starting to get fed up with my current job now, really feel like quitting the job immediately but I can’t do that.
This job is really making me go in circle, especially with bosses that like to change their mind just in a split of second.
You were doing this for today, then you have to do that for the next day.
Maybe, in the morning when you come to work, you find out that you no longer have a place to sit where your usual desk had been taken by someone who just came in, or maybe the next morning you came in, you realize that the computer you used to use no longer with you, all the files you’ve done just gone like that.
You just have to follow what your boss tell you or you’ll be gone forever and I’m in a tough situation where I cannot have the options to resigned as I like.
Never mind, I’ll just bear it until April. By end of April, I’m so gonna leave the hell out of this place.
*****
Next, while you’re working your mind just can’t focus on what’s in front of you.
Your head is full with him – his image, his name, every single detail about him.
People might start to feel that you’re crazy but you’re actually not.
Because he’s not by your side and this is the only way you can continue remember him.
But, you wouldn’t know what he’s doing over there, you wouldn’t know how busy he is, you wouldn’t know who is he talking to and you wouldn’t know what is he thinking of.
Is he thinking of you? Or is he just busy doing his things??
You’ll never know the truth and you’ll never remain calm.
When a question disappears in your mind, another one will just pop out.
It just keeps popping out non stop until the end of the day when you’re asleep.
Maybe sending SMS is another way to keep you close to him.
But, how long can you do that?
It might seems very nice and sweet at first, but as time goes on, you’ll notice that you can only see a sentence or worst appear on the screen of your phone.
For example, OK!, lol ==, alright, haha, ya, yes, alright baby, I’m back, etc.
I was wondering what am I suppose to reply after receiving this kind of message all the time.
There’s no topic to start, no clue, everything is just so straight forward and precisely, short.
Plus, you’ll feel that the message you received got colder each day and you will be thinking, are we alright? Is there any problem occur, all sorts of question.
When you say, I miss you, you got no response, when you say I love you, you got no response sometimes.
You’ll be overjoyed when he’s the one who tell you, because he don’t say those 3 words that often anymore compared to last time.
However, I’m somehow amazed with myself for able to endure all these.
I’m not sure how far my patience can go but I really hope I can stand his coldness for as long as I can.
Just wish to cherish every moment I have with him, though only through SMS.
I’m always trying to bear Jaime’s word in my mind, ‘believe the FACT that he wants you and you wants him too and just relax’.
I chose this path despite many warnings and concerns from friends.
I’ll have to face whatever consequences in the future for choosing this path.
So, I really hope I can do it.
p/s: type while i was working
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